This year has brought me to a changed perspective. I’ve always been a person who has a positive outlook, even in the bleakest of moments. I think it is in my nature to be positive. Call it optimism, call it a reflection of a life where most things DO work out, but whatever it is, it has been a critical element to my evolution. To see the world as good and beautiful, makes me happy.
To see the people I love (and don’t love) as good people makes me feel better about the world turning. I have this slightly naive approach where I think that if I’m not capable of doing that, no one would do that to me. While life has taught me this is not true, I still maintain having that hope is better than a cynical perspective.
People are good. We are kind, we are always trying our best. So I don’t fault the person who is short with me or the seemingly un-pleasable person, because honestly, I have no idea where they are at in life.
I want a world that is kind, and forgiving for my son, and I want to be someone who doesn’t make the world a worse place for anyone. Whether it’s holding the door for a mom with a stroller, checking in with a friend, or giving up my seat on the subway- small acts of kindness matter.
My outlook may be coined as rose colored glasses most of the time, but, while I tend to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt I struggle to look at myself with the same kindness.
Ten people can tell me something beautiful about me, and I’ll focus on the one person who found a flaw. And my daily reminder to myself is that my perspective (of myself) is not always fair. I hold myself up to sometimes unreachable standards. And while I love to strive to improve and grow- I also have to remember to be kind to myself.
So I’m learning to treat myself with the same kindness I afford others around me; and with the same love and devotion I give to my friends, my family, and even strangers.
Our own perspectives of ourselves can get so distorted with ads telling us to lose weight, with makeup companies telling us that if we had this product we’d be beautiful and with the ever conflicting world where self love and constant improvement sit side by side.
So I’ve learned, the hard way, that when I am having trouble reconciling my past, or wondering if I am a good person, not only to rely on my opinion. Because, if I am doing the right thing or being internally good, the added perspective only helps bolster that identity and that positive self evaluation. Changed perspective is a slow but worthwhile cause…And if I’m ever not living up to the person I want to be, having people I respect and admire gently guide me to a better place, benefits me as well.
Usually, I find I am being way harder on myself than anyone else would be, and that my Want to add a caption to this image? Click the Settings icon. standards are skewed by that perfectionist side in me.
While I love my optimism for the world, and my kindness, I can’t always be as kind to myself. That is ok, because I’m lucky enough to have any amazing support system around me that will guide me where I want and need to be.
No one can do it on their own, and no one should have to. If you don’t have someone you can confide your fears to, or someone to rely on for a self love check every now and again- then I suggest you reach out to the first person that pops into your head when you think about trust. Who do you trust? Who do you admire? Who supports you through the good AND the bad? They can be the start of that support system. It doesn’t need to be a massive team, but everyone needs someone.
Life is meant to be embraced. Each beautiful day, each shitty day, and every moment in between. It is never meant to be tackled alone. A changed perspective can make life better, more meaningful.
*And if you really don’t feel you have anyone, you’ve found my blog for a reason, and you can always reach out to me. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I promise I am a good listener without a judgmental bone in my body.