Style Files: Roslyn, What would a Romantic wear hiking?
Join Gabrielle Arruda on the Style POV podcast as she interviews Roslyn about her personal style journey. Roslyn shares how her interest in body typing and the Kibbe system shaped her fashion sense, leading to self-acceptance and love for her curves. The discussion covers Roslyn’s experiences with Kibbe, color theory, and the impact of finding a like-minded community of supportive women. Explore how embracing her essence influenced her style choices and overall confidence. This episode provides insights into navigating personal style and trusting your fashion instincts.
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Roslyn’s Facebook Style Group
Auto-generated Transcript:
Gabrielle: [00:00:00] Hi everyone, I’m Gabrielle Arruda host of the Style POV podcast and I’m here to help you learn to trust your fashion instincts hone Your authentic style and find strength through style today. We have another special segment of the style files It’s where you guys take center stage and share your style journeys today, I’m thrilled to welcome Roslyn. We discuss her revelation of her body’s line, how Kibbe impacted her style journey, and how she finally found love for her curves.
Gabrielle: And ultimately, the power of personal style. So let’s get into it. Hi Roslyn, I’m so glad to have you on and I’m excited to hear more about your style journey.
Roslyn: Hi, thank you for having me on.
Gabrielle: So let’s start off with like, where did your personal style journey start?
Roslyn: I’ve always been like into the body system since I was younger. Being older, I actually think I’ve watched some of Kibbe’s original content when he was on Sally and Oprah and all that. Those makeover shows were my favorite. MTV House of Style was my thing growing up. I’m 4’11 but I still had aspirations of being a supermodel that I don’t know where those came from.
Roslyn: I thought I was going to be that breakthrough girl. I’m [00:01:00] still trying.
Gabrielle: I love that. I love that.
Roslyn: It was great. I didn’t let it get me down. And just Throughout my life, I, I tend to gain weight, lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, and then the last time that I really Got down and lost a lot of weight and started changing my lifestyle and that I’m off that wagon now But I was on it for a good while before I had my daughter I started really getting into classifying like what body type I am and I always thought of myself as an hourglass And but it never worked.
Roslyn: I’m like, why can’t Kim Kardashian wear that but I cannot and It just, it very, it confused me where I stumbled into the figure eight, and then, I don’t know, I tend to have an idea, bounce off an idea, and that led me down what are my colors? And I thought I was an autumn my whole life, I think I’m pretty much a winter at this point, a deep winter but I really, I have freckles, so I thought that was, the answer.
Roslyn: And I. found Aly Art and [00:02:00] some of your videos, Merriam Style, all of those kind of work together into the color theory and that’s where I stumbled upon Kibbe and Kitchener and that started this style journey where Kibbe had said, have a community of women and I was Trying to do this through other means and it wasn’t feeling authentic.
Roslyn: And That’s where I was like let me see if I have some like minded women who i’ve met in these groups They I didn’t always agree with everything over there and I found a group of women started my own group where I just have women supporting women so now we’re a big group on facebook and we You know support each other and that’s what really led me down this Kibbe journey and finding myself, I identify as a romantic.
Roslyn: Even though I’m 4’11 I did go down this try to be soft gamine road, chopped my hair off. It was very sad and felt very messy and uncomfortable.
Gabrielle: Okay, so we’re definitely gonna make sure that everyone has your Facebook [00:03:00] group in the show notes because I think that’s oh, wonderful to have like more style communities that people can bounce off of because all the groups have a different personality, so sometimes you just, when you find people that speak your same language or Result bond to the content in the same way. So if that’s okay with you, i’ll definitely put that in the show notes
Roslyn: Oh, thank you. We like new people
Gabrielle: Yeah, okay, but let’s rewind a little bit So you were younger and you were seeing a lot of tv content You know interviews with kibbe all of these systems coming to light for the first time.
Gabrielle: Which is strange because I don’t feel like we have that as much now. It’s like YouTube and then behind closed doors a lot of these stylists. So at that point was any of the information clicking for you or were you still getting lost between the era of the 80s and 90s style, icons versus what Kibbe was trying to preach about different shapes and different bodies and working with your personal line.
Roslyn: No, I was not picking all that up. I had put myself in a pear [00:04:00] category, which I think , fits. And, that is where it ended. It wasn’t until recently, in the last few years, where, I would want to wear pleats, but then it made my round stomach look bigger. Even if, like a size four, it was round.
Roslyn: And I thought, The supermodel era of the 90s did not have us embracing round anything, and and my friends were very tall and lean, and I just was short, I’m fleshy now, but then I thought I was just fat, and it really did affect my body view. Body view since Kibbe has changed tremendously.
Roslyn: I love my curves. I embrace my curves. I love wearing pleats and having a round, stomach because that comes with round hips, which I find attractive. So I, yeah, I think it’s nice. And Kibbe really did that for me. Even though I have my qualms with Kibbe, I , think that he has made me more.
Roslyn: Into it’s like cured [00:05:00] to body dysmorphia. It’s not everybody I think has a body images here and there But for the most part, not anymore.
Gabrielle: I just want to say I think you look fantastic First of all, and I’m glad that you’re embracing your shape and you found like a love of your body because I think that’s like a Super important part to any style journey.
Gabrielle: Let’s start with so you found Kibbe for the second time And what were you immediately thinking you were? Or when you were consuming the content, tell us about your journey there. Because I am, very few people land on their ID. Out of the gate.
Roslyn: Okay, so I did land on my ID out of the gate.
Roslyn: I knew I was, I knew I was a figure eight from my journey before. I have, I think, a dramatic piece to my essence raised by gametes and naturals in my life. When you show me romantics versus theatrical romantics, the personality of Hedy Lamarr and all of the Mila Kunis and Selena Gomez all fit [00:06:00] me personally, I think, more.
Roslyn: Especially Hedy Lamarr because I’m a science based girl. I identify with INTJ like her. So she was
Gabrielle: incredible. Like her history and like. She was like an inventor, an actress. It’s incredible her story. I encourage anyone who doesn’t know her background to like deep dive into her because she is such an inspiration.
Roslyn: Sorry, continue. No, go ahead. No. It’s so important. I think so. Watching even her old movies. I did spend a lot of time on that activity, watching those old movies. I love that. , my grandmother watched those movies and I watched them with her. And so I think I already knew I was romantic, but then, nobody’s romantic. Everybody, it’s the end one. Here goes my journey of what Kibbe ID am I? It’s just the rabbit hole. I feel like Alice in Wonderland falling down the hole.
Gabrielle: It can be a rabbit hole for sure. And it’s hard too because, you, you join communities and you want to get support and feedback and a [00:07:00] second set of eyes, even if you are leaning towards something.
Gabrielle: And there is a little bit of gatekeeping, especially with romantic, and that can be tricky. I think a lot of people who are actually romantic get kicked to other IDs because they think I can’t claim the same idea as someone like Marilyn Monroe. And you’re like, but every ID is such an expansive, view and we’re just looking at like the overall essence and your line.
Gabrielle: So you were leaning towards a romantic. Did you do any tests to confirm that? How was the process of trying those lines out?
Roslyn: I took the test, and that’s where I landed, and then I started just hyperfixating on searching romantic things, and the system, and at first when I like something and I find like my thing, I just want to know about that one, and then I’ll learn about the other ones, and I didn’t go into this oh, I’ll be able to see everyone’s line.
Roslyn: It was a kind of a secondary. thing that happened as I started really deep diving. And [00:08:00] after I read that, I’m like, okay in the groups, they’re like, try soft gamine, try soft natural. Because I think I am wider than a Marilyn Monroe bone structure. And I think that people don’t realize you can have a small, medium or large frame within.
Roslyn: A lot of the types, and it’s still be that type. And I think that kind of throws me off too, because she’s so dainty and small. But I also think that goes with some of my dysmorphia. I think I take up all this space and my big friends are like, no, you don’t. No, you’re very
Gabrielle: petite. Even on camera, you look petite.
Gabrielle: And you said you were what? 4’11 right? Yeah,
Roslyn: 4’11 Yeah. Also, that skews your view. You’re like, okay you’re 4’11 Gamine must be your type, you’re so small. But my cousins are very definitely gamine and I feel like a giant next to them and we’re all within an inch of them and I really do feel bigger than them.
Roslyn: They feel so petite to me [00:09:00] and it’s because I think the type difference, I’m just voluptuous and they’re like more angular even though there’s softness in them that’s not the same type of softness and I think I noticed those differences in And myself and others but I don’t always have a name for what I’m seeing.
Roslyn: I’m seeing a concept and getting a vibe and that’s hard to translate.
Gabrielle: And there’s something that’s different, would you say it could potentially be like an essence thing as well? Because I know like romantic is dream spinner, which is a little confusing I think overall. It’s a little bit hard of a concept.
Gabrielle: I know it’s like what it okay like I’m in but if you read the whole chapter you emphasize like magnetism and warmth and empathy and this overarching like, yin qualities versus the gamines have these like yang elements coming in that gives them that sassy spunkiness.
Gabrielle: How did you feel about the essence thing or were you just looking at lines during this process?
Roslyn: So in the [00:10:00] beginning just lines, and then I quickly realized now that I know my lines that the importance of what that Kibbe wants you to like really know yourself
Roslyn: I have ideas of like concepts of my essence. I just don’t know what that translates to for me. Now for other people, like in your video, I was able to be like, name your essence. And I’m like, heck yeah, I got it right. And I was like, yay. But for me, it’s like a mystery. I’m like, I don’t know what to call that essence, but I think that’s the piece I’m really missing the essence and then the lack of things in the stores
Roslyn: I think I have an added challenge of being a very petite Romantic there’s really not a lot It’s a lot of money to pay for these dresses that I’m finding that really would work for me. And I’m like, there has to be an option out there somewhere.
Gabrielle: Yeah, that’s it’s challenging. The whole fashion industry has moved away [00:11:00] from cutting things in a way that will shape bodies because it’s expensive, because everyone’s curve is slightly different.
Gabrielle: So that bespoke quality and that like time and effort they used to put in pieces just doesn’t exist anymore. I think romantics need a crash course in like sewing and tailoring and fabrics more than anyone Because you guys are on like a goldmine hunt of like where is the piece that works?
Gabrielle: With my curves that works with my lifestyle. It can be especially difficult. So You are vibing with the lines the essence, you know is starting to make sense How are your outfits feeling during this process? Are they moving in a better direction? Are you feeling better about them?
Roslyn: Sometimes.
Roslyn: Definitely when I like make a video or take pictures, there are things that I can pick out where I like and don’t like about the outfits. And then I fine tune them. I found sheath dresses and cigarette pants work amazing. The dress, I don’t know what to call the [00:12:00] dress picture that I sent you.
Roslyn: That, that’s amazing. I wish that was, that is what captures my essence the most, but I cannot wear that to. school, in the classroom. But yeah, I want to capture that in everything.
Gabrielle: Do you want to describe the dress a little bit so everyone has a good understanding or adjectives that might be associated with it?
Roslyn: It’s black. I like black a lot. It looks good on me. And then it has like a v neck, They’re not small ruffles, but they’re not huge. They’re like a moderate ruffle and the ruffle is in the dress a little bit and it’s form fitting, but not bodycon. It’s , not a natural fabric.
Roslyn: It’s actually a recycled kind of fabric. It’s probably made of plastic, honestly. It’s just cool. But it drapes very nicely. Over my body that I don’t even feel I need shapewear with it. I like the way it feels, it just, it’s the perfect length, It comes right like mid calf, has a little slit in the front and just flutters out [00:13:00] a little bit and those kind of dresses, that even in a red look really nice on me, a green, like the Stuff like that kind of flows and it fits, I feel, like the romantic line description more so than when I’m looking.
Roslyn: I don’t think I have the narrowness of the theatrical romantic. I think I just feel like the essence of the dramatic somewhere in me, a boldness. But sometimes when I look at the, when I read the romantic chapter, that magnetism and that boldness is a little bit of a, I don’t know what to call it.
Roslyn: Maybe it’s part of the ingenue, like a little bit of, cause I don’t feel like I’m prince me, but I feel like I’m, there is a kick to my personality, but it doesn’t always turn people off.
Gabrielle: I think that’s like the interesting part about like different yin and yang systems is like with Kibbe, he puts romantic all the way in the, at the total yin side.
Gabrielle: And then theatrical romantic has that little touches of dramatic, whereas someone like Kitchener and McJimsey they put romantic in the [00:14:00] moderate category. And they and their blends of how they work with essences, especially Kitchener can be really different. than Kibbe. It’s possible to have a different Kitchener essence blend than Kibbe.
Gabrielle: Did you ever explore Kitchener or were there any yin and yang systems that you like?
Roslyn: For me, it’s hard for me to embrace the Kitchener it’s just because I struggle to identify myself in other people. It’s okay for me to do. I can see it, I get that vibe from them. It’s again, my own self where I struggle with it and I read it, it’s that one.
Roslyn: And then, I like Ogo’s Ethereals too, and I like vibes in there, but then I don’t know that I, it’s hard to just place myself in. One category, and then I get hung up on it being different than Kibbe and that. Yeah. It doesn’t like, my mind doesn’t like that, but I am willing to accept it.
Gabrielle: I know it’s difficult.
Gabrielle: You can’t add too many elements all at once or explore too [00:15:00] many systems at once because then you end up with this confusing is this working because it’s this or it’s like you can’t parse through as someone and you know You said science is like an experiment. It has too many variables to get the correct data So kibbe was your foundation and that really worked.
Gabrielle: Now when you talk about some of the pieces that you liked like that black dress would you say that there are any adjectives or any elements of the pieces collectively that work for you, like maybe fluidity, or draping, or, romance, or any of those elements?
Roslyn: I have and I get started and then I let it go if I’m being honest, like it gets overwhelming, but I do think fluidity, draping modern ruffle, I’m drawn to like rose prints some other things that work for me. I don’t know what to call it. It’s This quality that’s associated with like the Baroque or the Old West or like fairy tale essence.
Roslyn: It’s like an olden essence, but it’s [00:16:00] something they share all together. I don’t know what it is. It’s nostalgia maybe and it’s Something like that. And it goes with that 50s vibe. I do like a good Liz or Marilyn look but I don’t want to look costumey. So I, but I like vibe with that. I get a lot of compliments on me and how I look rather than that’s a nice dress when I’m wearing a 50s inspired outfit, I think.
Roslyn: Even down to the shoes, but it, that works well for me. Wavy, because like when my hair is straight, I don’t like it as much. I feel like it’s disconnected. So I think the curve, mimicking the curve everywhere, round, soft,
Gabrielle: yeah. I really think that Kibbe is a great tool to explore For people to understand that all of our body is like how you would draw a body like sketch it out on You know a piece of paper like they’re gonna create different shapes like fashion designers sketch models I sketch people they would sketch [00:17:00] Marilyn Monroe if you looked at the difference between Cindy Crawford being sketched really quickly versus Marilyn Monroe the shapes would obviously be different similar with a pattern, you’re trying to match those pattern pieces and what the fabrics are naturally doing with the shapes already found in the body.
Gabrielle: So if you have, Broad straight shoulders, then you’re looking for shoulder seams that are straight and sharp, versus Romantics, which are lots of round shapes everywhere. You’re looking for softness that shapes around your bust, that shapes into your waist and that can be difficult to find But it’s also once you do start to hit on those silhouettes, it can be so because you see your body in such a different way.
Gabrielle: You’re like, okay, I was trying this version and it just wasn’t working. Now I see, when I harmonize, like, how much of a connection you created. Did you think that when you first started trying those 50 silhouettes Were you understanding the concept of a head to toe look? Did you feel like that came really naturally or [00:18:00] instinctually?
Roslyn: Head to toe works well for me. I like big picture concepts. So it’s natural for me to fall into that. I always have when I would go shopping, I buy head to toe.
Roslyn: I’m like, all right, I’m going to buy a pair of shoes. I’m going to buy out like a pair of pants or a dress. I’m going to buy like the cover that goes with it. I’m going to get the jewelry. That has been what I used to do after children. And you’re like, Oh, I have this not to get for me. I’m like, oh, I like these pants.
Roslyn: Oh, I like this shirt. I feel like I’ve got a lot of disconnected pieces and I have things and then I’m always like, I have nothing to wear
Gabrielle: also like a different lifestyle or a different season when you have kids. Like all of a sudden it’s a little bit harder to reach for some of your old go to’s if you’re like I just don’t have the time to do it up like I used to.
Gabrielle: So you have to transition it to something that’s a little bit easier, especially. In some of the younger years, too, or the chaotic years. Yes,
Roslyn: and my daughter’s only four right now, so she’s, requires a lot. And then [00:19:00] we don’t go, I’m not going to places where I need to be dressed in a romantic outfit all the time.
Roslyn: And casual wear is a whole other ballgame for romantic. It’s hard to not look like pajamas at all. Is it, as a designer, is it harder to cut Circles and sew circles, is that why they avoid it or is it just not really that many people who want it and they?
Gabrielle: I think it’s a combination of a few things like so softer draped fabrics like your silks or your chiffons or anything like that They’re not really cut meant for bottoms and stuff Like they’re harder to cut and they require more structure built into them and they’re more delicate and I think the market Is just finding it more difficult to give you these like lightweight airy fabrics in like casual pants You have this flimsy soft fabric that just wants to billow And then you’re trying to cut it into a way that holds structure because pants Whether they’re cut for curve or straight, they have a lot of [00:20:00] seaming in them they need to hold the shape.
Gabrielle: They need to have a waistband. They need to have shaping around the hips And softer fabrics are more expensive to do that, usually. And also, it’s like the market dictates trends and we’ve seen trends go in a way that is super boxy and oversized. And, I think that’s super easy for fast fashion, too, because they can throw all that out there, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a romantic or a dramatic, you could potentially fit the same blazer.
Gabrielle: And that’s great for, fast fashion people, because they don’t have to create as many skews. They create that one blazer. It may not look the same, but most people, when they’re on a personal style journey, aren’t necessarily thinking like, oh, does this follow my line? And, They’re following trends, right?
Gabrielle: And they’re just buying and buying and they’re on this kind of hedonic shopping treadmill of let me consume more. And it ends up like, they never get the chance, they think oh, it just doesn’t work I’m not pretty, or this doesn’t work on me, this is ugly something’s wrong with [00:21:00] me.
Gabrielle: Because we’re trying to fit everyone into one box. And we’ve lost a lot of the tailoring that romantics really need. Like all the princess seaming and the detailing and the soft shapes. It’s just, it’s not as popular, I think, in modern construction. And I think that, when you have, however many different body shapes out there, they’re trying to get the most bang for their buck, unfortunately, which is why, From my perspective, the more style toolbox elements you can confirm and say this is definitely what works for me.
Gabrielle: The less inclined you feel to buy something that’s like kind of average and the more you’re willing to wait for those A plus pieces and or get a tailor. Like I know, like tailoring isn’t as expensive as people think it is. And like it can be a game changer for pieces that are like. They’re in my color season, they’re a good fabric, but as you mentioned, you have a big waist to hip ratio, so it’s probably [00:22:00] difficult for you to find perfect pants that fit both your small waist and your round hips, and being able to tailor those in and say, I’m gonna pinch this waistband in, which isn’t changing the structure of the garment. We’re not trying to take leather straight leg pants and then convert them into round shapes, but we’re taking something that has. Almost all the way there and then nipping it in at the waist so that it doesn’t feel too boxy Yeah, it’s but it takes an investment, And you don’t just want to you know be like, oh I can tailor anything into anything there’s a lost art of construction going on with fast fashion, And that’s why we’re so reliant on bodycon pieces stretch fabrics and body cons like I don’t know how you feel about those as a romantic I know they’re a well, they suit any type.
Gabrielle: What would you say was your next part of your style journey? Like you’re feeling good with your head to toes You have kibbe under your belt and that made a ton of sense and you have this like minded community What was next?
Roslyn: I think for me, it actually took a turn away from [00:23:00] the whole like fashion and into me.
Roslyn: Like I did psychoanalysis, like for real psychoanalysis, like four times a week. It really delved into who, if you will see it on the tick tock, like your inner child and your shadow work. But I went into a therapist who like was in school doing that and did that. And that helped me. It really ties together a lot of the same terms.
Roslyn: When you go on that Jungian path, it turns you, it’s, because he also went into Eastern religions where, I think Daoism and all that is where Kibbe went. It overlapped, and then it, I felt like that was the part of finding my inner essence, which is, now I’m in the process of finding where do these two converge.
Roslyn: What are these ideas of who I am as a person and that I’ve really accepted as a person fit where I’ve really accepted myself and my outer body? Now it’s alright, how do they fit together? Which is the essence, which again, if you are correct, it’s gotta be probably different than Kibbe. I’ve tried so many different [00:24:00] avenues within essence types,
Roslyn: and trying to find that perfect one is where I’m, at right now. Where not just perfect name, but also within that, I think there are so many different styles within that each essence.
Gabrielle: Yeah, I think at a certain point, too, when you understand the concepts and you’ve done inner work like that, where you’ve explored your shadow self And what things might be holding you back or what perceptions or lenses you’re using that like maybe don’t actually align with Reality kind of you know, because we all have those things where we see things a little differently and that causes like the dysmorphia or the kind of I can’t wear that or I can’t do That’s not me.
Gabrielle: But then we get permission to try it and we’re like, oh, okay. This is this could be really cool I think at a certain point sometimes it’s helpful to just give yourself permission to create your own essence. Kibbe, Kitchener, all of them , are really into developing uniqueness and expressing like your unique essence and [00:25:00] like charisma and beauty to the world, so at a certain point, sometimes it’s okay to be like, I don’t need Dream Spinner. I’m going to be XYZ. That’s my vibe. That’s how I want to present. to the world. And now you also mentioned that you liked McJimsey. where was her influence in this?
Roslyn: McJimsey I think was probably better at explaining all this than Kibbe.
Roslyn: She has less rules and I like her. The less rules like the height requirements aren’t there that is strictly. She allows for more combinations that I think he’d be missed. Maybe he’ll touch upon in his book. I don’t know, but they, there are some like. I think there’s a natural gamine missing somewhere in there that isn’t really soft or flamboyant,
Roslyn: . Like she has those as the main types and then you can combine different essences. I think she allows for me to play with the essences more because the rules are less [00:26:00] And then I find myself happier and able to kind of name who I am in her system.
Roslyn: But it still doesn’t help with finding it out there. That’s where I think it fits. Out in the real world. Yeah.
Gabrielle: Do you mind discussing some of your qualms with Kibbe? Like you mentioned height rules, like what, was there anything else that was confining to you or that you didn’t really resonate with that maybe, you’re still, you got something out of Kibbe, but didn’t love this part.
Roslyn: I do think he really was at the forefront for his time of trying to accept women and be open and affirming to everybody.
Roslyn: I really do. I actually think you are the only person who can find your essence. I don’t think anybody else, not even Kibbe, and I think that’s such a bold statement and, I think I come with that, when people, or that warning when I tell people, this is me experiencing you.
Roslyn: Right now, in this short amount of time, I don’t see you in the world. So when I’m saying something to someone I [00:27:00] know that they have to go explore that more, and if they feel differently, it’s probably not the case. They know more than me. I will know that inner vibe more than anyone else.
Roslyn: . So in my group I’m like you have to have some evidence somewhere. to back up what you’re saying. Say the why. Don’t just say, I think you’re this. And that way people aren’t sent on this.
Roslyn: I guess I’m really scarred by cutting off all my hair. No one will cut their hair off ever again if they don’t have to. And also, it gives people the freedom to play with, their own interpretation of it. It feels like maybe the parlor games are shunned, but they were so encouraged in the beginning.
Roslyn: And I felt like that’s what made. He’d be fun. So if it would go back to the parlor games, we’re okay. We could guess and name people just because we’re learning and trying to find our way.
Gabrielle: Yeah, she was definitely really prolific. And if you read her book, her understanding of like design and fabrics and line is super advanced. And I think , it was like a whole Mac book or [00:28:00] something. That wasn’t like, it wasn’t considered like a, super text that would, change the course of fashion, but she really did have a big impact.
Gabrielle: And I don’t fault Kibbe for taking an idea and creating an evolved version. And, he did make changes to it. And I’m actually interested to see his new book I already pre ordered it, but one of his tags is play your way through fashion, like that part of the book description.
Gabrielle: So I don’t know if there’s going to be, of that, bringing like the fun back, the quiz, the get to know yourself. But yeah, I think it’s really difficult when you go to groups. Even just having a YouTube channel, like some people, the comments you get or people like telling you, no, you’re not this are really hard because you’re like I just started to see myself this way.
Gabrielle: I can see the potential and someone’s don’t cling to that idea. You’re like, oh, okay. And yeah, and it’s really, I appreciate the fact that you ask people to give whys because I think constructive criticism is always good to help, we all do have some blind spots or some [00:29:00] dysmorphia or misunderstandings, but it’s so difficult when like you’re really feeling it, you feel connected to it, an inner part of you, is like singing at the idea of being this id or at this essence and then all of a sudden someone’s nope That’s not right. And you’re like, that’s
Roslyn: Oh, okay
Gabrielle: You’re like, okay, I guess i’m gonna chop my hair now, yeah, so there I go
Roslyn: And I’m going to buy his book it is where I base almost everything off of so even though I have my You Disgruntledness with Ki I do think his system is great and it did help me the most and led me to the McJimsey
Roslyn: so yeah.
Gabrielle: No, and it’s okay to say I like these elements and I don’t like this. We all find our own recipes of what works for us and what we end up putting in our daily like style toolboxes or what we use. It doesn’t have to be how the original creator intended, as long as you’re getting outfits that you love, or moving your style journey forward does it really matter if you abide [00:30:00] by the original interpretation of it?
Roslyn: I don’t think that works for personal style. I think you need to branch out a little.
Gabrielle: So you were developing inner essence. How did that change the way you got dressed every day?
Roslyn: I started paying attention more and I started buying pieces that were for that type. In the beginning, it was a lot of mimicking what I saw on The, celebrity examples, and then I started trying on things that were a little different or that I may not have tried on before, and I found some things that way, like different pairs of pants.
Roslyn: Pants have been really hard for me. So just trying different ones. Paperback pants, for example, I shied away from. I really like them, but they have to be a certain type. I try to make sure I always wear jewelry. I hate accessorizing.
Roslyn: It’s the hardest part for me, the details. So I wear the same two pairs of earrings and then the same two necklaces every day. And that was at a suggestion of one of my friends. And she [00:31:00] was like, just pick what you like and then you’re accessorized every day.
Gabrielle: Yeah, sometimes you have to streamline the process too.
Gabrielle: Like the goal is to like your outfit like 80 percent of the way there each day. And each day if you can like up it like one half percent of I like this one even a little more, great. But at least you have some bases covered where you’re like, this feels like a full head to toe. I want to discuss two things, and you can tell me which one you’d like to discuss first, or which one was more impactful during this stage of your style journey.
Gabrielle: I want to discuss your color journey, and I want to discuss your lifestyle, because you mentioned you’re a teacher. Which one would you like to discuss first?
Roslyn: Color journey’s faster, so we’ll do that in a week. Okay.
Gabrielle: Okay. When did color start? Integrating into your style journey. A
Roslyn: couple years ago, I, the lady that worked across the hall from me she was going to coloring classes to learn how to color people.
Roslyn: She was just like, you are an Autumn. And I played with it again through my life. I had that little, it was a girl talk book [00:32:00] and it had like body types and coloring in it and all that. And That is when I thought I was Autumn, and I just, so funny, after I started going through like Ali Arts videos with the contrast and all of, are you muted or not?
Roslyn: I go and look in my closet and I don’t have anything fall. I may have one burnt orange jacket. That’s, that is it. Everything’s navy blue and black.
Gabrielle: I have to say, like, when we do initial drapes in SciArt, we test the four colors and we say better or worse, or what’s the overall impression, and it’s brown for autumn, black for winter, yellow for spring, and a grayish for summer and you just get the initial impression like could I believe this so in my head whenever I see someone and I start imagining them with these drapes on and I’m sorry but I just could not picture you in the brown drape.
Gabrielle: I feel like it would just drain the life out of you and you know also you know each seasonal color like [00:33:00] family does have some general like essence qualities and characteristics. And Autumn’s, there are some overarching characters of what the colors feel and what they do, and Autumn has this rich harvest quality, and it’s just not what I’m getting from you at all.
Gabrielle: So was there a reason she thought you were autumn? Yeah. No, some people look stunning in it. Autumn colors on the right person make them like glow, the sunset, like in fall it’s stunning, but on the wrong person, it makes you look like a peasant. And
Roslyn: I did look like a peasant.
Roslyn: I do look like a peasant.
Gabrielle: Did she say why she thought you were in autumn? Okay,
Roslyn: so my hair color, I color my hair, it’s a naturally like auburn, my dad is Italian and chestnut hair. My mom has red hair. I have this deep, dark, this is my, it’s the same level. I’m a level four.
So I have freckles a little bit, not a lot. I don’t burn. I have all I’m a pale olive.
Roslyn: I sometimes look grayish [00:34:00] green if I have the wrong color on. It’s terrible. I thought I have hazel eyes forever, but I actually think I have green with brown central heterochromia eyes. And so I think my eyes are actually like this deeper green color and it goes with the olive.
Roslyn: And, but people, I think a lot of people had said I was autumn my whole life. Like when you, yeah, and I, it doesn’t vibe with me. I love silver. I am drawn to silver. I do think color, you are just drawn to it. Like I tell you, when I look in my closet, it was all winter, I didn’t go between deep and bright winter because a brighter green like this, but when I look at this, I’m like, this actually probably has Black in it, a black and green.
Roslyn: It’s not quite that bright Kelly green of spring. It’s, there’s a deepness to it and a little bit deeper. Just always look better. But I think for me, it was when I switched a few years ago to another job and I always just wore black. I don’t know why I switched. [00:35:00] Probably I had my daughter.
Roslyn: I put on weight after having the baby. It wasn’t horrific, but black is looks nice. It, when you wear black shoes, I can dress it up. It’s easy for work. And everybody would say, wow, black is really your color. And I’m like, okay if black is my color, there really aren’t a lot of. Color season options and it’s not this dusty looking autumn black or this muted black or whatever It’s definitely pure black and I used to get a lot of compliments in white Although I don’t like myself in white as much as black.
Roslyn: It doesn’t fit my essence. I don’t think as well That
Gabrielle: makes sense. Yeah. And like, when you look at it too, just narrowing it down to winters is so helpful in your journey. Now that you have romantic in there, and you have winter, your shopping experience must have changed quite a bit, right?
Roslyn: I can go into the store and be like, I’m not even looking at that. Like I go right through and I find the color. So the color’s easy. And then [00:36:00] from there, I’m looking at fabric. As I’m going because fabric matters really a lot and then I pull it out if the fabric and the color work It does this shape work and then it’s like Shape works and then there’s the back is all open and or and then it’s like the perfect outfit until it goes at the far end of what the stereotype of romantic is and i’m like almost there and probably a tailor would be My best bet or even I think would vintage shopping be better with a tailor like yeah
Gabrielle: Vintage shopping if you hit on the right places like can be a gold mine for well constructed pieces because The quality and the time they used to invest like even just look in a garment today From like Amazon or even like Nordstrom’s and look at a garment from the fifties, sixties, even into the seventies and look at the insides and just see how much more construction is like all those layers, the linings, the interfacing, the [00:37:00] bindings they did, like these all take a, like a lot more hours of work per garment, like bias binding on garments, which were like very popular to do on the inside of a jacket, which is like How you finish a seam with that little, it looks like a little edge, a binded edge.
Gabrielle: Like it’s a very difficult thing to do. You don’t see it anymore because it takes time unless you’re buying like a bespoke or super expensive piece. So yeah, vintage shopping, if you can hit on your elements, is definitely a goldmine. But, it also comes down to I think like figuring out the patterns, and really nailing it So do you like to let me ask this first.
Gabrielle: Do you like to online shop or do you like to in person shop?
Roslyn: I like to online shop, but I also have a body that I think requires in person honestly. Or a flexible return policy, right? Yeah, I don’t want to have to pay for a return because I have to return. Yeah.
Gabrielle: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s good that you’ve accepted that because I think [00:38:00] people today like our inclination is, oh, it was like cheap. So I’m just going to keep it. And then that throws your whole wardrobe off and you’re like looking at a closet with so many pieces. you’ve worn once.
Gabrielle: So I think that’s good that you have that I wasn’t always,
Roslyn: this brought me this journey and finding myself. I started shopping at the beginning on ASOS cause they have a good petite section and it was teeny and I could try cuts. I, and I will say fast fashion worked amazing for me to try to. See what cuts worked in a cheaper form.
Roslyn: They didn’t last. I don’t have any of them anymore, but It did help me narrow some things down On a budget that now I know okay, I could invest in this shape which makes online shopping a little easier. It’s not Perfected but I have more success than I did in the past
Gabrielle: Yeah, that exploration phase is important, because seeing is believing, right?
Gabrielle: Someone can tell you, soft drape fabrics are your friend, but until you’re [00:39:00] like, Oh, this is what he means now it’s all clicking. You said you have some pieces that you like to wear. Does that include for all of your lifestyles or elements? Or do you find that some places are easier to get dressed than others?
Roslyn: It’s easier for me to get dressed to go to work because that’s where I spend most of my time. I, and I can just get like the same kind of things over and over. And that’s where I think I want to expand upon. Like I try tighter fitting pants, little cropped, I do like my sheath dresses.
Roslyn: I can sometimes get a little boho look going on. I do like a long skirt, that works. Body suits tend to work with a fuller, longer skirt right now for me. Yeah. And my last building when I walked in with my heels, they’re like, oh, you’re gonna need different shoes.
Roslyn: It was a different job description, but at my new school, she, it’s a, she, it was run by men over there. This is run by women and people are a little more dressy and she requires a little bit more dress. So [00:40:00] I. Wearing heels like nobody bats an eye, so it’s a little bit easier for me to get dressed where at my last school I felt out of place because everybody’s wearing the tennis shoes of today, which is hard for me.
Roslyn: They don’t look cute. I look like my principal from middle school is chasing people down the hall with their sneakers and her skirt.
Gabrielle: It’s hard too when you’re petite and curvy because those sneakers add like a visual weight to your feet so it ends up feeling very heavy not feeling this lovely, magnetic, bounciness of the romantics, where your eyes are just like, wow, beautiful, round,
Gabrielle: it’s just whoosh. You go you just go down, and you’re dragged down to these heavy sneakers. Not to say they can’t wear sneakers, but, it’s definitely a trickier It does feel very
Roslyn: like that, like grounding. It feels very like it’s pulling me down, and that’s a perfect way to describe how I feel when they’re on heavy, and It gives me a heavy, dumpy feeling.
Roslyn: It doesn’t feel as free as a heel, and I know [00:41:00] that sounds weird that people are like, oh, heels? Yes, they just feel better. And that’s so weird, but they’re, I find a comfortable, orthotic kind,
Gabrielle: But I think that’s great because a personal style journey is about saying no to things and
Gabrielle: giving yourself the permission to be like, I know sneakers and this like athleisure look or whatever is super popular right now, but that’s just not me or that’s not how I want to show up in the world. That’s not my inner essence or that’s not what I feel my best in. So you mentioned that so you’re a teacher and you have to, conform to at least a work environment, right?
Gabrielle: And you felt like you progressed into that easily or were there some hurdles with that?
Roslyn: There’s hurdles. I, it feels very limiting it can feel boring I do want to wear a dress more often than pants. They feel better. They look better. I feel more confident in them.
Roslyn: And I do feel like when I am in my essence, it seems weird, but the classroom management is better. The respect level is better. I feel like when you carry [00:42:00] yourself with this essence, in your essence, you’re feeling yourself. And I think that translates to everyone around you. I do notice a huge difference.
Roslyn: And how I’m perceived when I’m in and out of my essence, and so I want to embrace that more.
Gabrielle: There’s an authenticity, too, like that you’re letting your true self shine and you’re being vulnerable, and I think that’s like super enchanting and magnetic. Like people want to be around people who just have a confidence of self.
Gabrielle: And when you dress in your lines or you dress in clothes that you love, that can shine through. So what is your biggest style hurdle today?
Roslyn: I think it’s fitting my curves without looking overtly, I don’t, it feels weird to say sexy, like I don’t want to rhyme this like whatever but it does come off very, Yeah.
Roslyn: And that’s C, as you can see, like it’s uncomfortable for me to even be perceived like, [00:43:00] too overt like that at work. Not in the world. I don’t care. Yes. But at work, no. But I still want, how do I show without? It looking too bodycon too inappropriate for an elementary second grade setting
Gabrielle: Yeah I think you look great right now I think what you’re wearing is a fantastic iteration of that but I also wonder if it would be a fun exercise and since like You’re so involved in the style community also exploring this with them is that like creating a spectrum of your style like whether you take daily outfit photos or you just take a photo or Describe it in words Like when I want to look really sexy, I wear the black fluid dress with the long cascading, medium, moderate ruffle.
Gabrielle: And I like it in soft silks, or the, man made materials that like really allow my curves to shine. And then take that outfit and the elements and break it down to how those elements, or your favorite pieces work in every type of setting. [00:44:00] Like how, even if it’s not a setting you need, like you could be like, what would I wear going on a hike?
Gabrielle: Something totally off because it’s just like stretching your creativity and trying to see like, how could I take this essence, like my favorite outfit, how could I take those elements and workshop it? Like it’s like a creativity stretch. You don’t even have to like the outfits.
Gabrielle: It just gets you thinking about the elements in a different way. And I think that learning or identifying different structural elements in your pieces, like how shoulder seams, where do you like them? What seeming do you like in your bodices?
Gabrielle: Like what are the, what fabrics? Is it bias cut skirts or is it skirts that just have simple hip shaping that allow you to, do you like it when the shape goes out? Or do you like it when it falls straight or do you like a pencil skirt like trying to figure out kind of A toolbox not to use my own terms, but like a toolbox of style techniques and sewing techniques [00:45:00] that you can apply.
Gabrielle: And then here’s where it’s like digging for treasure. You take those concepts and then finding them out in the real world is easier because you have those keywords, like you’re trying to search full silk skirt with, thin waistband in emerald green, and you put that into Google and you go through the shopping links and you try to, Parse through and then what you do also is like you look at once you find one you look at the description Look at the fabrics they use look at what terms they use And then you try to repeat that search.
Gabrielle: It’s like almost like a scientific experiment of you collect the data Here’s the keywords that make sense We’re going to take those keywords and we’re going to try again and we’re going to see what we repeat And then slowly narrowing that down Where you know, even that black dress you said it was a man made material Maybe you search for pieces in that material, you know Maybe you go on a deep dive for something like that And it’s just about slowly finding those extensions even if you don’t ever want to wear the hiking outfit but It’s like a fantasy character [00:46:00] like what would she wear to this there’s choose your character things You know Exactly dress your avatar for everything and then see which outfits like maybe There’s a different proportion or a different element that you start picking up on Because I think a lot of personal style is pattern matching, pattern matching between your clothes and your body, like your essence and how you want to like present to the world.
Gabrielle: Like where are these two aligning? And then at the end of the day, coming up with the verification, like in a, in another episode, I talk about the four stages. And it sounds like you’re like out of the incubation or messy middle and heading more into verification. Cause you have a lot of elements that really, Resonate and are working and now it’s just about, you know Getting to illumination or like a fully realized version of it like where it just spreads Everywhere and I mean I tell everyone to do this, but I sometimes closet audits can be really helpful for this, too [00:47:00] Because even if you can’t come up with the yes pieces, you can come up with the no’s pretty easily.
Gabrielle: Ooh, okay. I had my gamine phase. I’m seeing a lot of structured cropped things in there. And I need to put this on my no list.
Roslyn: I’m good for a closet audit. That’s, I’m definitely down for that. I think I closet audit and then I reshop and then I need to keep closet auditing.
Gabrielle: I know, it’s hard too because we get attached to things.
Gabrielle: That’s why I like closet purgatory. We have this kind of bias in our minds that we’re like, But what if I need this one thing? What if I give it up? It doesn’t matter that you gave up nine things that you didn’t need and were clogging up your closet If you ever think about that one piece again that you gave up
Roslyn: it
Gabrielle: scars you and you can never approach closet audits again So develop a closet purgatory put it like under your bed for six months If you never reach for it again, you are safe to release it out into the world to find [00:48:00] new fabric friends. But yeah, it’s just a slow process. It’s so interesting to hear your journey.
Gabrielle: What would you say is your advice to people on their own style journey?
Roslyn: Listen to your own intuition. If something is telling you no, it’s probably a no and you know yourself best, not anybody else. So trust your gut. It’s probably correct.
Gabrielle: Yeah, it’s interesting to hear you say I think we all have elements of dysmorphia, or claiming things for our own, but even though you feel like you’ve experienced that, your instincts were really right all along, and you really had a good sense of this isn’t, these aren’t my colors, and I know I was told this, but this isn’t resonating, or this is what my body needs, and it wasn’t getting this before do you think that you’ve always had those instincts, or have they grown with more fashion knowledge?
Roslyn: I think they’ve grown with more fashion knowledge. I think that’s always part of who you are somewhere, but I was unlocking that. I think in my early age, I bought things, more trends or colors that I just thought were [00:49:00] pretty interesting. I do like a dusty rose and like I would wear that and then I can look back at those pictures and see how draining they were , or the lines that, oversized things that was just in and was like the big boots and I looked at them and I looked so silly but I felt, I felt like I was rocking it in that moment.
Roslyn: I probably was. Like it just, I think it shifted my perspective of not dressing for trends anymore and more dressing for what works for me and that it will always be in style if it flatters my body.
Gabrielle: Yeah. And when it’s like an inner essence thing too, which you talked about, like you stepped away from style and did that like deep work, then you feel more connected and like more okay about like showing up in the world.
Gabrielle: I think a lot of people. End up with at least I did personally, like kind of style armor, you Like chase trends or chase like, you know getting a compliment like that’s such a cool outfit and I was like addicted to have some [00:50:00] people thinking like my outfit was unique or artsy And it was like, you know It was exhausting first of all because you’re like, oh, how am I going to top that?
Gabrielle: I need to buy new designer shoes or I need to get the newest Trend and let me chase all these things And there’s a stillness and kind of finding your style because you’re not running up to keep up with You Whatever is the latest and greatest. There’s a little bit more peace when you’re like, hey, this is me.
Gabrielle: It’s okay to show up this way. Would you say that style has changed how you’ve seen yourself?
Roslyn: Yes, definitely. So I have a more positive outlook. I really definitely have embraced my curves. Just even the way I do my hair and makeup. It changed how I see all of that. I noticed that I do follow into naturally some of the way to put on makeup that goes with romantic the watercolor I’m always smearing.
Roslyn: It confirmed things for me and it made me pay attention more to who I am and [00:51:00] what feels good for me.
Gabrielle: One last question, when you were on your inner essence, what did you figure out, if you don’t mind sharing? About yourself that really made you feel at home in these choices and really brought you back to, your journey as a larger picture thing, not just, I want nice clothes.
Roslyn: It was just the way I felt. It is more like I felt good and then the way I was perceived in the world. It’s Instead of people noticing, I think when you’re a romantic, you can easily put on like a body con and people are going to look. I don’t even think it matters what size I am. I think the waist hip ratio has that effect in who they’re looking.
Roslyn: Yeah. But it was more for objective kind of view. Now I feel like people perceive me The whole me head to toe essence, where I go out and there’s more of a confidence about it rather than noticing the object. It’s more of the whole person. , there’s more of a boldness rather than a body to like, I think my [00:52:00] personality is boldness and magnetism and softness all in one.
Roslyn: And I think that I like how I’m received when I’m in my essence.
Gabrielle: I love that. And I think if he does mention that, like romantics do well, and they go all out. They’re always a little bit more oomph to their look than some of the other ideas on an average day because they have all of those round enchanting elements to their face and their body.
One last thing how would you describe your personality? I’m just curious. I think that You seem like a people person. You seem very bold and at the same time receptive, like confident I’d love to hear what you just self describe.
Roslyn: I confidence is hard, but I do I’m coming into it.
Roslyn: I think that I am empathetic. I think I’m sassy sarcastic funny. I think I’m flirtatious by nature I like a good flirt, even if it is nothing. I think people mistake my personality for flirting when it’s more like I’m just, [00:53:00] that’s who I am. So I guess it’s maybe more of embracing who I am.
Roslyn: I’m like, it’s soft jokes and just a little humor and then walking away. I’m known to make a joke and kick out my leg and walk out of the room carefully. To be silly. I love
Gabrielle: that.
Gabrielle: And I love how you’re smiling when you’re talking about yourself. I think that it shines through and your clothes really speak to you and they just flatter you so much. And it’s incredible to hear about your journey and hear, like, how you’ve taken the best parts of these systems and found something , That lets you, that silly joke but bold and empathetic and confident all jumble up into one and be expressed out into the world.
Gabrielle: So I’m so appreciative that you came on here. Is there anything else you want to say, cover, or talk about?
Roslyn: No. Just thank you so much for having me on. It’s nice to meet you in person. Here are your thoughts on things. I feel confirmed in my winter. Yeah, no,
Gabrielle: you look fantastic. And it’s, and it’s fun to just [00:54:00] explore and hear other thoughts.
Gabrielle: And I hope you update us on some of your shopping, deep dives, because I think a lot of people struggle with that these days.
Gabrielle: And It would be lovely to see what, things you uncover by deep diving into Google keywords. Yeah.
Roslyn: I’m going to do the activity that you said. I am going to probably do it with the group and try to go down and dress myself for things and like maybe it’ll push me to take some time after work to, get dressed.
Roslyn: Go to the store and explore things and maybe put little outfits together and see what I can find. Even if I don’t buy them, I think it’s fun to go make them and try them on and just see what would it like. My, my hiker self. I can’t see myself hiking, but you never know.
Gabrielle: And sometimes it just opens it up to being like this isn’t like my go to, but hey, this little element’s looking kind of cool.
Gabrielle: Maybe that could work for, this ruffle on this shirt that I never would have considered. It’s you’re digging for buried treasure. That’s what style is, right? And once you hit on it, you’re like, aha, but you don’t have a map always. You got to [00:55:00] get
Roslyn: like the goodies.
Roslyn: I’m just out there. Yeah,
Gabrielle: exactly. Or holes. If you ever watch that show, there’s going to be a lot of holes. I just want to so much for coming on and I appreciate you sharing your journey and until next time.
Roslyn: All right. Thank you so much. See you later.