Finding yourself is what life is all about. At some quasi young age we find something that makes us happy and passionate and we decide THIS IS it.. This is THE thing I need to be; this is THE thing that will make a life worth living. I thought I had that. Designing did fulfill me- it did define me and I was seemingly good at it. But, there were a lot of elements within it that stressed me out. Just watch me on Project Runway and you’ll get the picture. Actually, no don’t. Just trust me on this one. After the year I’ve had, it dawned on me to embrace the new parts of fashion I enjoy with the old to create a passion that’s right for me NOW. I loved and I still love designing. It felt like my home. However, the way I was doing it was creating stress and brow lines to no end. If you curious about my design background read this post all about my life. This year has been arguably one of the best years (my son, my health etc) but equally argued it could be equated as the year from hell. I lost my way when it came to a lot of fundamental life endeavors. I struggled- to say the least.
But that struggle lead me here. As recently as yesterday, I was talking to someone in the fashion field and they really felt as though I had found my calling with this site and “content creation”. They were so supportive and really encouraged me to pursue it further. I’ve received thousands of Dms with people sending love about my new path and I’m not saying that to pat myself on the back, I’m saying it because I never would have considered this before my life fell apart.
I might have hypothesized about it- because it was always of interest.. But I would have never justified the immense amount of time and effort to actually DO it. So I tell you my journey because while I love design and would kill to integrate it into my new “job”. I love this new creative outlet so much and have found a much healthier balance in this integration than I did as solely a designer. There is stress- but it doesn’t make me have that onset of panic, like I had when I was nurturing a brand/label. I drag on not to congratulate myself for finding new purpose but to remind you how much TRUE growth comes from struggling and being in a state of flux. When you have nothing or it at least feels that way, then that is the time you have everything to gain. It’s not easy, it’s not fast, but when the smallest light starts to creep in- it really makes it all seem possible. So have patience with pain. Have patience with evolution. To change your defining characteristics is not easy- it certainly won’t happen overnight, in a week, or even in a month. Maybe not even in a year. But I’m here to remind you that you ARE exactly where you need to be. The hardest growth is personal. Do the work, be patient and forgiving with the timeline and put your heart and goodness into something. And something good will return. Maybe not in the picture you imagined.. but it comes in the form you need.
So while I will never not love designing. I’ve found a new element of fashion that I can passionately and courageously pursue. Crowded market or not, just look down the bread aisle of a super market to remind yourself there is always room for you to join a space.
In the future I hope to be able to combine my two favorite elements of fashion into one- content creating AND designing clothes.. But I’ll leave the long hours of welt pockets, and bias hem stitching to the seamstresses and find myself in my strengths. And learn from my weaknesses. We think destiny calls us at age 18, 21, or even 25… But, to have it all figured out at this age is not always possible. Even at my age, it is not possible and it shouldn’t be. We should constantly be trying to pivot and grow/evolve with our passions. Just because one iteration of it fit our lives, does not mean that this is the finish lines for passions. So I encourage you, if you look at career with stress and constant panic… Then maybe it’s time to force yourself to tear that dream apart. Find the pieces you love and encourage those to flourish. Will stress disappear, no? But will it be more manageable, absolutely. What new path are you challenging yourself to take on? Comment below so I can hear all about your wonderful new adventures!