Personal Style Building: Developing a Style Statement

You’ve probably spent dozens, if not hundreds, of hours, pouring over fashion advice trying to unearth the one nugget of information that will make it all “click”.  Whether you’ve figured out your body types, your Kibbe image identity, your Kitchener Essence, Seasonal Color Palette, or something else among the various style systems, you still need to know… Where do you go from here?

Style is an expression, style systems are the tools.  Only you know the intricacies and goals of each “project” and what tools need to be applied. But, what if the outfits aren’t feeling right? Or they don’t seem to work in the way you thought? Is the system broken?

No. Style Systems are tools that you get to determine how and where you apply each guideline.  They help you form a style toolbox.  That is only a foundational element of authentic personal style.  Next, you need the magic of YOU. 

Determining your style statement or style thought process is a critical step to truly express yourself and define yourself on your own terms.

Let’s fast forward 50 years from now.. You’re having your biography written about your life and they are carefully crafting your story.  What does the cover of that book look like? How are you described? How is the reader “seeing” you? What are your clothes saying? 

We want to hone our style thought process so that in 50 years we can look back and say “Yup, that’s exactly me!”.  

What is a Style Statement? 

A style statement, or style thought process ( I use them interchangeably), is a collection of 2-3 words that define your truest self or nature, your defining edge, and your creative flow.  That may sound a bit abstract but just let me explain further, ok? 

We want our clothes to be representative of our truest selves and our inner and outer essence.  We want our clothes to feel authentic, and exhibit what feels right.  

It’s like a mantra that you say before you get dressed so that your outfit is prioritizing your best self.  It’s the root of your decisions (whether you’re shopping or outfit building), and it is the lightning rod that sparks outfit after outfit that just feel “right” and good. 

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Style Thought Process; What it is not…

There are lots of amazing style systems out there that help you start to harmonize your body with your clothes or help you give focus to your style.

Style tools like Kibbe and Kitchener can be great foundational elements, but the goal of a Style thought process is to not use those terms. Those are part of your toolbox, they may be how you express your style thought-process but they are not your mantra. 

But what about Kibbe’s “descriptive phrase” for each Image Identity…  Like Flamboyant Natural is “free spirit chic”, can I just use that? 

Well, that could be a place to start.  But, we really want to customize our style statement to be reflective of our individual truest selves.  That was Kibbe’s image identity descriptors, not yours.  

So what about the 3-word method? Is that the same thing?

Alison Bornstein popularized the 3-word method, which was originally seen in a similar format in books like Wardrobe Strategies. The thought process behind it is to have 3 descriptors for your style that you apply to overarching personal style goals.  So the same thing? Nope!

While I encourage people to explore systems like Bornstein’s three-word method,  your style statement or style thought process should be more like a mantra you live by.  

For instance, your 3-word method might be I want to appear Classic, Friendly, and Glamorous.  Those are great adjectives for the clothes that you wear, and how you potentially put them together… But your style thought-process should be YOU.  It’s a bit more of an internal assessment. But I think both systems can work beautifully together.

How do I build a style statement or style thought process? 

Generally, your style statement or thought process will be composed of 2-3 words total. If you were to create a mood board of “ —blank— style core” aesthetic that defined every part of your truest self, what would it be called? 

And to make this even more abstract ( sorry!),  only you truly know what your style mantra means.  What those words evoke and how they brand your true self is something YOU need to determine. 

If you’re struggling with where to start, here are some ideas. 

Foundational Descriptor +  Creative/Unique edge + 3rd Element/Inspiration (optional)

Let’s explore some theoretical examples.  Because this is based on your innermost self, I’m not going to give you celebrity examples or theorize a person’s style mantra based on what they are wearing today.  Instead, I’m going to give you some “pretend” backgrounds of people, how they might define their style thought processes, and then how that might show up in their everyday outfits.  

Style Statement Example 1:  “Jess”

Jess’s style statement is “vibrant zest”.  Her foundational descriptor is vibrant.  She approaches life with enthusiasm, is always the first to volunteer for new things, and likes to have an optimistic attitude toward life.  She likes color and flavor in her life.  Her look ranges from bright colors, fun patterns, and fun eye shadows that give a pop to her look.  She likes to feel comfortable but doesn’t shy away from being the center of attention.  She has an infectious laugh, and always seems to be positivity around her.  Her creative unique word is “zest”.  She has a zest for life, that is uniquely her own.  She’s a prominent member of her community, a dedicated friend, and the person you go to when you need a pick-me-up.  She can be sassy, but always friendly, bold but always warm.  When she gets dressed she wants her clothes to bring more energy to her day and everyone around her.  She wants to radiate warmth and confidence.   When she gets dressed she thinks about how to communicate “vibrant zest”.  

Style Statement Example 2: Marie 

Marie’s style statement is “enigmatic composed creative”.  These three words speak to her soul and how she wants to look and feel each day. The enigmatic is her foundational word.  She likes to be independent and a bit of a mystery to others. She’s a bit of an introvert but isn’t afraid to take on adventures on her own.  She’s a bit like an onion, it can take a while to peel back the layers that compose her personality.  She’s okay with people not immediately understanding her. She likes to feel composed and in control.  Her looks always feel finished and she doesn’t like anything to feel sloppy or too relaxed.  But at the same time, she has a lot of layers and a lot of unique hobbies, interests, and opinions.  The final word in her style statement is creative.  Her “creative” descriptor doesn’t manifest itself in unique colors or artsy elements, but rather just a little nod of unexpected textures, elements, or details. It’s a subtle nod to her uniqueness, and how she likes to add a bit of surprise to an outfit.  Whether it’s a furry bucket hat, or a unique earring she bought while traveling, her creative twist is always a whisper of who she is to her core. 

Style Statement Example 3:  Josephine 

Josephine’s style statement is “direct elegance”.  Her foundational descriptor is direct. She is not someone who holds her words or opinions to herself. She likes to command respect, and she will hold your eye contact while speaking.  She prefers to be a leader in situations and enjoys politics and community events so that she can take charge and have an impact on things.  She likes to look and feel confident but also has a graceful, polished side to her.   Her creative edge or second descriptor is elegance.  She values tradition, policy, and looking put-together.  She moves with grace and prefers her clothes to have a fitted, feminine, and graceful effect.  She likes playing with classic and vintage silhouettes, but never costumey.  She has a smoothness about her movements and a boldness in her words.  It creates a great dichotomy of strength, confidence, and genuineness.  She is never afraid to be herself or make herself politely heard.  

Style Statement:  Gabrielle

Evolving a style statement can take time.  And sometimes you play around with words first to see if they really “hit home”. When I started my style mantra journey I was waffling between “free beauty” and “relaxed glamour”.  At first, I was stuck, I seemed to use both statements equally but in different scenarios.  But when it came time to really hone it down and evaluate the thought-process behind each phrase, I realized “free beauty” was much more applicable and more an embodiment of me.  Relaxed Glamour ultimately felt like something I had to “try” to achieve, and it seemed to describe my clothes more than my actual thought process.  So what does “free beauty” mean to me.  It might not be what you think.. My main foundational word is “free”. I can be a bit opinionated, and I like to talk. I like the freedom to express myself and the freedom to move. I don’t easily sit still and often like to dance around my kitchen, or skip down my Brooklyn streets. It may sound silly to some, but feeling free and unconstrained is important to my personality and my clothes.  The creative edge of “beauty” is also a personal interpretation. I’m not saying I want to look “beautiful” or have people admire me for “beauty” but rather I want to exude the things I find beautiful.  I want to creatively express my version of beauty, and have elements that I love and admire within my outfits.  I like to be seen as warm and friendly and attract those around me.  I want people to see me, and understand my definition of beauty through my clothes and style.  So that they might see me just a bit better. It’s an understanding between the world and me. When I get dressed; how can I bridge the gap a bit more and become closer to the world outside and better understood? I want to look and feel approachable, and I want the freedom to interact with the world how I see fit.  So I’m now honing what my closet and outfits will evolve with by using “free beauty” as my mantra, and I have to say, so far it’s going well!  

You’ll notice these words are necessarily adjectives that describe the clothes being worn.  They encompass how the person wants to feel, how they want to be seen, and how they move through the world. 

Can your style thought process be wrong?

Only you can decide that.  And it may take some time to hone and develop the “right” style process.  This journey is a look at who you’ve been, who you are, and who you want to be.  So it’s reasonable to assume that that is a huge personal discovery, and may take time to really nail down. 

If you need some more guidance on this aspect, I encourage you to watch my video below on Personal Style Mapping. 

It’s a great place to start understanding yourself and how your style can and does represent you.  And there’s a set of free worksheets to complete as well. 

Sign up for the free personal style worksheets, here.

Is my style statement my “personal brand”?

Yes, and no.  In the video above I mention “brand boards” and honing your own visual representation.  These are elements of you.. But we want our style thought process to be a succinct trigger to help us make the style choices that feel right.

So here is my brand board….

But my style thought process is more specifically “Free Beauty,”. 

Originally I was wavering between “free beauty” and “relaxed glamour” and I went through a testing phase of each. Now, it’s important to note that some of these terms can be defined in many ways.  This is why it is key that YOU define them for yourself. 

Someone else using the term “free” might focus on a boho vibe, or a traveler vibe or an ability to physically move. They might define it as freedom of speech using their clothes, or it might mean they need to have silhouettes that don’t constrain. Or it might mean they like to be free from societal expectations.  There are so many ways to define a word, which is why the style worksheets and personal definitions need to be done in order to truly grasp how YOU define your mantra.  

We want to examine the “look and feel” of each element of our style thought process.  It’s a feeling or guiding start that should help us build an outfit. 

What if someone doesn’t agree with my style thought-process?

Kindly tell them to mind their own business.  This is YOUR mantra, your guiding star.  No one else needs to understand why you chose those words, and no one else needs to agree that you exude those words.

This is you!  

It’s a bit of a paradox that we, as humans, want to be seen but also feel as though we belong.  It can inhibit our styles because whether we are trying to dress for the cool kids in high school, or dress to fit in with our new mom friends, it makes us feel confined to a specific uniform or “box”. 

But once you have your authentic personal style defined, it becomes much easier to apply it to outfits for any occasion.  And, it also makes shopping much more seamless. 

Style Thought Process

I once saw a tweet that said “If art is how we decorate spaces, then music is how we decorate time”, and it stuck with me (a profound use of those 60 characters if you ask me).  But, I’m going to take it one step further….

“then style is how we define ourselves”. 

Think about that. It’s not the latest trend or your most recent splurge purchase.  It’s defining who you are. 

Your style can express emotion, communicate, and even change people’s minds.  This is why I recommend Personal Style Mapping as an exercise for authentic style because it helps you acquaint yourself with your true self. 

And ultimately, you get to be the artist in this story.  We aren’t giving your prescriptive items that fit each descriptor, or recommended silhouettes for each mantra.  Those are elements you can pull from your style toolbox or foundational fashion understanding. 

We are developing a phrase that will guide each outfit and how we finish it.  How we choose to pair items together or reinvent a look we love.  

So if it sounds a bit abstract, it absolutely can be. But it is also a hugely beneficial and personal experience to nail down.  

The Process

The process of developing a style mantra or thought process can sometimes be a bit daunting. How can you find a couple of words that encompass all the different versions and interests you possess?  But, once you start honing it down you will see the magic that comes from it. 

Don’t just pull words from your style toolbox and call it a day.  Take the time to do the personal style map and brand board to see what truly matters to you, and what historical influences you’ve had along the way. 

If you’ve already filled out the personal style worksheets or completed my Self-Guided Personal Style Workbook, you should begin to have some common themes popping up in your answers. 

If you don’t, start by writing out your likes, dislikes, and “keywords” that can describe you.

Likes

Dislikes

Keywords

From there, examine the themes of your answers and start pulling out keywords or words that truly resonate with you. If these words feel at odds with one another, that is ok! 

Now, make a list of synonyms of these words.  Each word you choose for your thought process mantra will be uniquely defined to you and deeply personal.  But, in this exploration phase, we can look at synonyms to see if there is an even more accurate word. Being precise matters. 

Next, look at your favorite outfits from over the years and compare them to your list of words.  Try to look at a variety of different outfits from casual, to formal, to perfunctory.  Examine how they relate to one another and if your list of words can be applied and where. 

From there, we want to start defining our words and narrowing down our phrase. 

What do your outfits look and feel like when you like them best? What do these descriptor words mean to you? 

These words do not need to be simply adjectives or descriptors, they can also be unique nouns or themes.  

Now start brainstorming how you might put your words together.  Try a few different iterations and combinations and then “test” them out for a few weeks. Use that phrase when you get dressed each morning to guide your choices and have a central focus to your aesthetic. 

For me, I wavered between “relaxed glamour” and “free beauty”.  There were subtle changes between the two. When I went with free beauty, I focused on clothing that felt open and subtly romantic, with a freshness about the look.  When I went with relaxed glamour my outfits felt a bit more formal.  

The Data 

If you’ve been following my content for a while, you’ll know one of my biggest pieces of advice is to take daily outfit photos.  These photos are not glamorous, grid-worthy photos… In fact, most of my daily outfit photos have such bad RBF I hesitate to post them sometimes lest people think I’m a grump. 

But, these photos are your raw data.  In hindsight, we can review them for common themes, silhouettes, and overall vibes.  We can begin to narrow down our most worn pieces and our personal styling techniques.  And for this style statement process, we can see how our overall impression is coming together.

When you collage together your outfits, are we seeing the essence of YOU?  

So, I encourage you to slowly test out your style statement combination options so that you can eventually hone it down to one overarching thought-process. 

This thought process will guide you when you’re building an outfit, shopping for a new piece, or even for big life events.

What if my words feel disjointed? 

That’s OK! In fact, a little tension or contrast can create a very unique and defined look.  Remember, you get to decide how these words show up in your style.  

What if others think my words are wrong?

This isn’t a crowd-sourcing thing.  And if your words feel right to you, and the outfits you use with this thought process in mind feel exciting, good, and like your best self… then you need to stick to them. 

Help! My outfits just aren’t coming out how I imagine…

This is a thought process or mantra to get dressed.  If you haven’t learned basic fashion fundamentals like body types, style lines, seasonal color, and proportions you may have a foundational outfit issue.  If your closet is wildly unbalanced and in need of decluttering, then it will be hard to implement your thought process.

Think about an artist’s journey. You need to learn the basics of painting, color theory, shadows/light, and different styles before you can really create your masterpiece and define your trademark style.  Famous painters who have been revered for years didn’t immediately start out painting in the style they were eventually known for… The same is true for your style.

Even the famous style icon Audrey Hepburn took years to refine her stunning looks and vibe.

What if I need more than 2-3 words?

The more succinct and precise you can be with your words or mantra, the better.  If you feel really strongly about having 4 words, fine.  But if you’re getting into the 5+ word arena, I’d challenge you to find synonyms and hone the meaning of each word you’re using.  

As I mentioned in the video, our authentic personal styles are all about convergence and divergence (the root of creativity).  At first, we are gathering data and words, but eventually, we remove elements to streamline and refine what we want to express. 

What if I have two phrases I like?

Test them out! As you see above, I wavered between two style thought processes. It took me several weeks testing them out and reviewing my outfits and how they each felt before I landed on what felt most “right” and authentic to me. 

Experimentation is part of this process.  

Gut Check 

Learning style systems can help you make sense of your historical style data and why certain looks made you shine and others were total misses. 

But, don’t underestimate your fashion instincts and fashion gut.  Once you get the foundational education and your style toolbox figured out, you can start leaning on your gut instincts more.  

And, I highly recommend my Self-Guided Personal Style Workbook for testing, honing, and refining your style data and elements. 

But, if you’re really confused about whether or not an outfit fits with your thought process, do a gut check. 

• Does this feel like me? 
• Do I feel confident in this?
• Do I feel seen in this?
• Is any outside influence impacting my choices? (we want our true selves to be the guiding factor) 
• What does this outfit affirm about me?
• What does this outfit or look communicate?
• How does it make me feel? 

We might feel hesitant at times to express our truest self, but deep down our gut can tell us if it feels right.

Remember that paradox I mentioned?  We do want to feel seen but also belong, which can cause our instincts to be led astray.  So, if you’re feeling nervous about expressing your style statement, try it out in a solo setting first. 

Think of it like going on a solo date with this new version of yourself.  Get dressed up, snap a daily outfit photo, and then enjoy some time with yourself.  Slowly, you will build up the confidence to take this new you out into the world.  But, it’s ok to get to know them first. 

Still Confused? 

Let’s try one more exercise to help things click for you.  Imagine your words, pull your favorite outfit, and then imagine what background, room, house, or environment that that person would most easily exist in. 

Maybe it’s in a cottage in the woods.

Maybe it’s in a surreal fantasy castle.

Maybe it’s on the streets of Paris. 

Imagining your ideal and true self in your ideal setting can also help you hone your words. It’s ultimately what helped me land on my style statement.  

Now, I’m not suggesting you decide to pack up and move based on this exercise, but it can be eye-opening to how you define your space, and decorate your interiors.  And the cool part about your style thought process is it can help you make those decisions as well.

Signs Your Style Mantra Is Working…

With an abstract concept, it can be hard to tell if it’s really working and is moving the needle with your personal style.  It’s so much easier to copy an outfit you see on Instagram than it is to hone down on the unique details that express your essence. 

But, the more you refine your style thought process and converge on what each word truly means to you and your style, the easier this will all become. 

We don’t want a style mantra that needs a lot of “compensating” to look right.  If you’ve ever seen the show Euphoria, you know there’s a scene where Sydney Sweeney’s character gets up at 4 am to start her beauty and outfit routine.  And essentially she’s trying to look like another character on the show.  It takes her so much effort to try and mimic this look. 

via GIPHY

Does the outfit look OK? Of course. But when we get our style mantras to be truly expressive, our entire fashion sense will begin to feel effortless.

Just like when you take a bite of food and you immediately know if you like it or dislike it.  You’ll be able to look at a piece and say nope, not “free” enough.  Or doesn’t speak to the “regal” in me. 

Your makeup, beauty routine, and closets will all start to feel more harmonious and less like you “need” to do this or that.

When I honed my style thought process down I realized all my failed makeup looks didn’t belong. I’m not a huge makeup person, and I like my minimal routine. It felt in harmony with my style expression.

I’m not saying some of our style statements won’t be “involved” or require some practice/effort… But, it should require 4 hours of prepping and tweaking to make a harmonious look. It should eventually begin to feel second nature. 

The second tip that your style thought process is working is you won’t feel outfit fatigue or mid-day outfit regret.  Now, obviously, this happens after you’ve really gotten acquainted with your style statement and not necessarily in the experimental phase… But, the outfits you build will start to feel second nature and you won’t have as many “let me get home and tear off this dress” feelings. 

And thirdly, when you look at your closet you begin to see yourself. It’s no longer (after you audit) a hodge podge of pieces or a trend graveyard.  You begin to see “those pieces are me” and mixing and matching seems less daunting. 

Developing an authentic personal style doesn’t happen overnight. Remember when I mentioned your biography covers?  Think about all the years you’ve taken to form your personality, your story, and your defining characteristics… A lot of years, right?  Now, we are taking all those elements and finding the visual representations of them.  It’s oh-so worth it, but understand it’s a journey to…

Find strength through style.