Style Files: Makhosi, “What Would a Goddess Wear to Run Errands?”

In this episode of the Style POV podcast, host Gabriella Arruda launches a new segment called ‘Style Files’, where listeners share their fashion journeys. The first guest, Makhosi, discusses her evolution in personal style, starting in 2019. She navigates through various challenges like identifying her true color season and essence, her different experimentation phases, and ultimately discovering that an oracle or goddess look best represents her authentic self. The discussion highlights the importance of shedding preconceived notions, understanding fashion systems, and embracing individuality in personal style. Makhosi also offers advice for those on similar journeys and shares how her wardrobe now reflects her true identity.

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Style Files: Makhosi Shares Her Personal Style Journey

Transcript

Gabrielle: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. Welcome to the Style POV podcast. I’m Gabrielle Arruda, your host. And here we learn how to trust our fashion instincts, hone an authentic style POV and find strength through style. And today we are starting a very exciting new segment for the Style POV podcast called Style Files. This is where I invite you, the readers, listeners, watchers to come on the podcast and share your style journey.

Gabrielle: We will deep dive into. What your process has been like, what style hurdles you encountered, where you are today, whether you’re in the messy middle or you’ve honed an authentic personal style that you love, we are here to share and build a community around finding an authentic style. So I’d love to welcome my first guest.

Gabrielle: Let’s get started.

Gabrielle: Hi everyone and I am so excited to welcome Makhosi here and she is going to be sharing her personal style journey and we are going to get into what style struggles she’s overcome, how her journey has progressed, and what style systems she found most useful. [00:01:00] So thank you so much for being here. 

Makhosi: Thank you for having me.

Makhosi: I’m really excited. 

Gabrielle: So let’s start off with a broader scope. How did you start on this personal style journey? Did you immediately find a system? What were you drawn to first and what were you looking to solve? 

Makhosi: My journey really started back in 20, no, actually it was 2019. So it was before the pandemic.

Makhosi: And I think the pandemic gave me a lot of extra time to go really deep, but ultimately I started exploring style because I was coming out on the online space. I had already been online, mostly on Facebook, but that was just to my immediate circle, my friends, family people who I had worked with who were in my immediate area and in 2019, I left my hometown and moved to Virginia.

Makhosi: And really came out in my business online. In 2019. And it was part of the whole personal [00:02:00] branding who am I, what am I communicating to the world kind of thing, and Also a journey of self discovery. I I had my son back in 2012 and experienced so much transformation in that process of becoming a mother.

Makhosi: And I was also very young, well, relatively young. I was in my early twenties and I wanted to come home to myself. 

Gabrielle: It was like you were tired of the hedonic treadmill of always trying on new trends or new looks and there was something that drew you to let me find this like authenticity in my style or let me like represent myself.

Gabrielle: I feel like I had a similar journey because once you have a child, it’s like you want them to see who you are now about your business. I’m curious. Did you go a traditional business headshot route? Did you try to do the I’m gonna put on a suit.

Gabrielle: I’m gonna have a nice polished look. This is what I need to do. I never 

Makhosi: did that. 

Gabrielle: Oh, good. [00:03:00] 

Makhosi: I never went down the traditional business because I actually was already an entrepreneur at that point. I left corporate maybe a year after my son was born. So I hadn’t been doing the blazer type of situation, but at that time, I don’t know if you remember this, but pink and gold branding was everywhere, right?

Makhosi: And I was like, this just doesn’t feel like me at all to do this very super feminine, and I went the opposite direction. I was like, let me go. Super hardcore very edgy, which is fine. But ultimately I can say that this journey has been not just in my style a whole transformation, but it’s been transformational because I realized so many things about myself, so many things that I [00:04:00] was covering up.

Makhosi: That I was hiding. It was like a. trauma healing experience through clothing. 

Gabrielle: I love that. So you launched this business, you were a mom, like you had all these like big moments in your life, like life changing moments, really. And you went like a little edgy, a little bit darker, a little more dramatic.

Gabrielle: Now, what was the first style system you found? Or what was your first turning point into okay, I’m starting to uncover some of this authenticity?

Makhosi: Well, Color season was first and this is where I really messed up. So color season was first And I do think I got a very inexpensive typing from someone.

Makhosi: I don’t even remember who they were like, oh, yes, you are a deep autumn and I was like, oh, okay Deep autumn that makes so much sense. And so then I just completely Set color season to [00:05:00] the side for some years Thinking Oh, I, I know I’m a deep autumn. I was, I 

Gabrielle: hmm.

Makhosi: yeah, cause I was like, Oh, they’re an expert.

Makhosi: So I’m a deep autumn. And I looked crazy 

Makhosi: for a 

Makhosi: couple of years, wearing deep autumn. And then then I was typed by someone else who is quite popular online as deep winter. And I was like, Oh, okay. This makes more sense. 

Gabrielle: Mm hmm. 

Makhosi: And also road on that for a couple years. 

Gabrielle: Were both of these online?

Gabrielle: Yes. Okay. Both were virtual, 

Makhosi: right? And that definitely relates to one of the biggest things that I’ve learned is just, there’s only so much you can see. Yeah. Online, really. And if you don’t give enough context, right? If the person isn’t seeing you in a lot of different lights. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: clothing shapes, so on and so forth.

Makhosi: They are only getting a [00:06:00] snapshot, right? It wasn’t until I was typed in person, I was draped in person back in November, right? So we’re coming up on a year and I was typed as soft summer, which no one would have guessed. No one even threw that out as a possibility because my eyes are almost black.

Makhosi: I have dark hair but it was very obvious that I was a summer. 

Gabrielle: That’s why I love in person, just because you don’t then rely on other people to tell you afterwards that they got it right, because you really see it with your eyes. You’re like, okay, they’re showing you when you put that black drape on.

Gabrielle: Something is wrong, which is not which is an indicator that winter isn’t right. They put that brown drape on, something is still not right, like, where is your eye settling? That’s so hard for us to grasp until you see it. Because then when you walk out of that appointment, you’re like, I have no doubts.

Gabrielle: I’m is that how you felt? 

Makhosi: Oh my gosh, totally solid. And even [00:07:00] just going through all of the different colors that were really making me pop and shine. You could see it. I looked like, it’s like I went from looking like a vampire and not like an intentional 

Gabrielle: vampire. Frozen. 

Makhosi: Right. All of the color pulled from my face.

Makhosi: My makeup wearing me instead of me wearing it. And. She said to me, she said, actually, you’re like one of the most summer people I’ve ever seen because I was typed by House of Colors. So they do wow colors, right? Yeah. You have more wow colors in in the summer season than anyone. Wow. I’ve seen.

Gabrielle: That’s amazing. 

Makhosi: It was amazing. I don’t know, it was like a breath of fresh air and also a major money saver. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, when you get it right, it’s so nice because like you go your entire wardrobe strategy changes. You don’t just go in and be like this might be okay, like maybe I can try this.

Gabrielle: You’re like, nope, not in my color palette, gonna put this to the side. [00:08:00] It gives you that like firm data to really like hone in and be like, no, I’m gonna wait for the right color because I know what it can do for me. 

Makhosi: Yeah, I think Actually, I would say, out of everything that I’ve tried, I do think that color season was the most impactful before having my colors done, my closet was full of things that were, it was just like a ton of statement pieces in every color imaginable.

Makhosi: Nothing went together, because I, at that time, I didn’t believe in basics, and I was always confused why. I couldn’t put an outfit together and I just wore the same three things basically all of the time. And now I, I do keep track of my outfits. Now I’m wearing consistently 60 to 80 percent of my wardrobe.

Makhosi: And that’s, every 90 days, so my, my clothes are getting used, which is what matters to me. 

Gabrielle: Definitely, and it also makes it easier in the morning, because you’re like, I know that these pieces work. I’m not [00:09:00] sacrificing my personal style goals because I have to be comfortable today, and it’s just this is what I have.

Gabrielle: Now let’s rewind a little bit and go back. So you originally thought Dark Autumn. You were like, not super excited about that, so it got put on the back burner. What was the next step after that? 

Makhosi: So that’s when I went down the kibbe. 

Gabrielle: Okay. 

Makhosi: So I went down the kibbe rabbit hole and that was during the pandemic.

Makhosi: So I think that did help me just because I had so much free time. So much free time. You could 

Gabrielle: go deep into the rabbit hole. 

Makhosi: I’m a, I am a rabbit hole rabbit researcher. Anytime I come across something, I just like inhale. the knowledge. Yeah. So because it was the pandemic, I had lots of free time. I spent quite a bit of time trying on different things.

Makhosi: And of course I asked in public forums, public spaces. And a lot of people thought, Oh, you are definitely a soft natural. [00:10:00] 

Gabrielle: Okay. 

Makhosi: I was told I was soft natural by most people. There were a few people who were like, okay, maybe you’re flamboyant natural. And I was like, okay, maybe except for that, when I would go to put on anything oversized. I very easily look like I am completely homeless. Like I just didn’t even try at all. And, That’s why I like, now I don’t wear t shirts. Yeah. I don’t wear t shirts, I don’t wear actually a lot of, even tennis shoes are really difficult for me to pull off.

Makhosi: I was also, at that time, ended up getting frustrated and getting typed and was typed as soft natural. And something just didn’t feel right because anytime I would go to put on shorter lines, like shorts or a short skirt, Or yeah, not, none of it. It just wasn’t it. It was not it. [00:11:00] It was not it at all.

Gabrielle: Was there a moment where you were like, Okay, I’m gonna put all these opinions aside, because natural does not seem to be my home base. What inspired that switch? Because that can be hard. You don’t know a lot about the system, there’s so many nuances to it, so you trust that the person who wrote 500 words on you being a soft natural is correct.

Gabrielle: And you’re like, Hmm. But sometimes you gotta tap into those inner instincts and be like, No. Something is off here. 

Makhosi: Yeah, I I think it was a lot of buying things and returning them very shortly after, because I would get home, I would see it on the hanger I would even put it on and try it on and maybe it was okay.

Makhosi: And then I would get it home and then I would look in the mirror and I was like, I look disheveled. I don’t look cool. I just look disheveled. And so I, after a while, returned so many things. That I realized, okay, maybe this isn’t it. [00:12:00] And so I wanted to boil down what are the core differences between this and this?

Makhosi: And I started to first just get a feel for, okay, on which end of the spectrum, on which end of the yin and yang spectrum am I most likely to be, right? Number one, I’m five foot six. 

Gabrielle: Me too. It’s a tricky, it’s a tricky height. 

Makhosi: It’s a tricky height, so it’s like, you technically could be anything.

Makhosi: Yeah. 

Gabrielle: You wanna give yourself a little wiggle room. There’s a few celebrities that are five, but then you’re like, but I’m probably not that. And you have this in like inner conflict of being like, could I be something else? . 

Makhosi: Yeah. So I

Makhosi: I started trying on two different silhouettes at a time instead of trying all of them on. I was like, let me try this versus this, and this versus this, and started to get clear on, okay, when I wear this, when I wear something that is [00:13:00] sleeker, closer to the body, that seems to work better than more relaxed styles with a little more wiggle room in them or a Very, I don’t even know, what is the word that Kibbe uses for the natural shape?

Makhosi: Oh, Unconstructed. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, which is a complicated word because Unconstructed today versus like in the eighties means two different things. Like the fashion industry has unfortunately changed a lot over the past 20 years, and Unconstructed has meant to be like baggy and oversized when in the eighties.

Gabrielle: It really just meant less seeming, a little less structure involved a little bit more relaxed, but still fairly close to the body. That’s I think, a big part where people misunderstand as well, 

Makhosi: I definitely think, for me, when I thought of natural originally, and why I thought there was no possible way I could be one, was because I did think that it was, like, Being able to pull off, [00:14:00] a huge oversized blazer because at that time 2020 those like Huge shoulder pad blazers 

Gabrielle: blazers.

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: really in right and I was like i’m Drowning in this crazy. So that did not help and then finally someone broke it down to me a little bit more and I was like, okay I get it a little bit better. 

Gabrielle: Yeah You 

Makhosi: Makes a little more sense. 

Gabrielle: What did you feel about the archetypes? So you started in natural and you have like fresh and central lady or free spirit chic How did those resonate or not resonate with you?

Makhosi: I was like, what does that even mean? Honestly, I was like, what does that mean? Also I think sometimes it’s difficult because we often develop personalities 

Makhosi: That are Not necessarily our home base. So what I was experiencing was I come from a very difficult upbringing and I had [00:15:00] to develop certain ways of being in order to protect myself.

Makhosi: And so the way that I saw myself didn’t necessarily match at that time, who I was. It was more of I was trying to make myself. Look a certain way. 

Gabrielle: Kind of like armor almost like you wanted that block between it not to be so vulnerable or out there. So Where did you move next? 

Makhosi: Where did I move next? Oh, I think that’s when I started getting into Kitchener Essences. 

Makhosi: I think the reason that I started getting into the essences was because even in Kibbe there’s this And at that time, I felt like I was landing on some of my lines more consistently, but I still was coming off.

Makhosi: I still felt like I was wearing armor. I felt like I was coming off [00:16:00] more intense than I am 

Gabrielle: And this was during what ID were you exploring when you felt too intense? 

Makhosi: So at this time, I now started wearing more leather. I was like playing in the leather playground. 

Makhosi: Got a really cool leather jacket at that time that in my mind would have worked really well for a natural But it still wasn’t quite working.

Makhosi: There was not a clear stop point like it was with the color season. For me, I was exploring Kibbe and Kitchener’s essences at the same time. Mainly because I had been typed and gotten insight on both of those at the same time. And it didn’t quite 

Makhosi: totally feel right.

Gabrielle: So you got a typing and it gave you Kibbe and Kichner. , so the next exploration phase was those two together. Did you hit hurdles with that? Getting that much information at once or [00:17:00] was it eye opening? 

Makhosi: I don’t think I ever feel like I’m getting too much information at once.

Makhosi: I think the mistake that I felt like I made was taking it in as, this is for sure, this is a fact, without having it, haven’t really, hadn’t really proved it to myself 

Gabrielle: yet. Yeah. 

Makhosi: And then I went about buying a ton of new clothing. As one does, right? That did not work, right?

Makhosi: In that process of buying things, trying them, the majority of them ended up going back and then the things that I was wearing still didn’t quite feel like they were working. And I realized, actually, I came across a Reddit thread and it was specifically on the systems related to women of color or just people of color in general, and I realized.

Makhosi: Not only was it [00:18:00] possible for others to have bias, that I could have bias of myself, right? It’s really hard. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, sometimes it can be hard to think you’re the exception, too. You’re like everyone says that if you have dark brown eyes, you must be autumn and winter, which is completely false, by the way.

Gabrielle: But obviously, but just to nail that to anyone listening, that does not mean you are in winter or autumn. But yeah, it can be hard to be like, but everyone says this, could I possibly be this? It can be hard to take that ownership of that, so we found the Reddit thread.

Makhosi: Found the Reddit thread, read through it, started looking at different examples. Now this is when I went back to also exploring color season. So then I’m exploring color season in people of color and people of color with different Kibbe. Images, body images, right? And people with different essences.

Makhosi: Because I think [00:19:00] one of the challenges of any of the systems is there are like standard celebrity models that we use for certain archetypes or identities. And we think that’s the only way that it can express. Yeah. And we also don’t always understand the. Where different aspects of different essences or different traits are showing up and how that blends together.

Gabrielle: Yeah, I think blends are a really hard thing for us to grasp because we get one stereotype stuck in our heads and then we can’t expand past it. When even in every Kibbe and in every Kitchener, there’s a pretty broad range within each of the IDs. But, It takes a lot to get from here to here, there’s some empty space that our brains haven’t recognized yet.

Makhosi: Yeah. I also would say too, even in, inside of different [00:20:00] ethnicities, the perception of certain traits might be different, right? For many ethnicities my nose would be considered a broader nose, right? But actually it’s probably more moderate for my, Ethnicity, right? It’s it actually isn’t as broad as maybe others who share an ethnicity or and my lips also are not as as full as others in my ethnicity as well so seeing the essences on different People different racial backgrounds Actually helped me a lot and also I went back in time 

Gabrielle: I was like, 

Makhosi: before I knew any of this information, before I had any of this input coming in.

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: What were the things that I was wearing, trying, doing that seemed to really [00:21:00] work 

Makhosi: for me, 

Makhosi: right? Yeah. And I went back through various clothes that I was wearing. I reflected on hair. I felt like hair was a really good indicator. I always felt like I had a hard time with my hair. It wasn’t until I grew my hair out.

Makhosi: My hair is like to my butt at this point. It wasn’t until I grew my hair out that long that I was like, Oh! Long hair, especially if it’s in like a wave, looks the best. I don’t look good with extreme styles or short looks that never worked for me. And I felt like that gave me a lot of data to work with. 

Gabrielle: That was like the first thing you were like, okay, this is definitely me. I found like one nugget that I want to dig in to more. And I agree, I think your hair is fantastic. So from that, what was the next step? Did you find that [00:22:00] going back in time when you were like, had less information, let’s say, gave you a little bit clearer of a picture as well?

Makhosi: Yeah, I thought that there was a possibility of intuition. 

Makhosi: Because even as a little girl, I I had a long period of time where I was very much into fashion as a little girl growing up in small town West Virginia Which was so random. But I used to spend time like I had a book where I would sketch different designs And I loved like dressing up dolls That was my thing and then I put that on the back burner for a really long time And then I had some really interesting So I had phases.

Makhosi: I had a goth phase. I had a skater phase. I had some just, I don’t even know what was happening. Basically anything you could wear phase. But when I really narrowed it down to, okay, what are some of the things that I [00:23:00] know always look good? Like for me, I know if I wear something that has some wrap or some drape to it.

Makhosi: That’s gonna be good. I know that for me wearing something like sleeker on the bottom half Always looks good. Like a pencil skirt looks great or Flared jeans looks great. Those sorts of things always worked well And so I started just playing with that okay, what identities what essence is really important?

Makhosi: Work well with some of these things instead of trying to go the other way where I felt like I was just Trying to put on a costume. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, fit yourself into a box instead of like tap into that like authenticity now you’ve found some style lines you want you’ve abandoned dark autumn at this point 

Makhosi: Oh yeah.

Gabrielle: Okay, so Dark Autumn’s out. Is Dark Winter, are we in the Dark Winter phase? [00:24:00] I’m in the Dark Winter phase. Okay, so Dark Winter is working. Slim lines, flares we’re starting to get some data that’s working. What made you pursue things further? What was it about that just wasn’t quite there for you?

Makhosi: Yeah, so I really thought I was like, oh, I’ve got so much dramatics. I’m so dramatic, except that when I was doing my outfits of the day, this was when I started taking pictures. So now I have, at this point I have four years worth of pictures from my outfits from maybe not every day, but most of them.

Makhosi: And I, the more that I looked, I was like, Oh my gosh, every time I’m wearing these looks my son told me that I looked like a clown. 

Gabrielle: They’re always really honest, right? 

Makhosi: He’s you’re wearing so much makeup. When I wouldn’t even be wearing that much makeup, honestly.

Makhosi: But he was like, Mom, this is something isn’t right. isn’t here. 

Gabrielle: Honestly, I think sometimes we should ask our kids, because I remember when I was wearing [00:25:00] cool tone makeup, my son was like, you look old. And I was like, okay. But the one time I wore a spring dress, he went, wow, and he’s six. So like to get that reaction from a six year old is, maybe kids are the untapped resource that we should start using.

Gabrielle: Because 

Makhosi: I always ask my son now he’s 11. And he’s been, around through this journey. And he will tell me like, 

Speaker 4: yeah. 

Makhosi: This doesn’t look right. I started seeing this separation happening between me and my makeup. And then also some of the recommendations for a dramatic essence, being able to wear something high contrast and it never. Really worked. But what I was doing, I think this is something that you said you did too. Because I like to dress up, I was matching my makeup to the clothing. So the whole thing, like it was a vibe. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: It was a vibe because like I put it [00:26:00] together and it looked good together.

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: But it wasn’t aligned with me. Yeah, like 

Gabrielle: the outfit was a nice head to toe, but there was still a disconnect or it felt heavy on the actual individual. But that can be so hard because there’s a lot of people who will say, Oh, that outfit looks so good on you. Because they like everything having a semblance to one another and making sense together.

Gabrielle: But then it’s this still doesn’t feel like me. 

Makhosi: Yeah. And then also my husband was, he’s always very supportive. Yeah. But also he would say oh, this, we have a joke now. ’cause he’s done it so many times. He’ll go, oh, that’s interesting,

Makhosi: You’re like, uhoh. Here it goes again. Okay. So I’m like, then I started asking him, what specifically is interesting? He’s I don’t know. It’s just. 

Gabrielle: I have some questions. I don’t know what they are yet, but something just isn’t [00:27:00] lining up. That’s like the nice way of something’s saying something’s off.

Makhosi: So I took all of that information and I was like, huh maybe I just rushed too quickly into my assumption of what I thought had to be. I did cut out certain essences, certain IDs pretty quickly. And I do feel like I probably should have explored them more. 

Gabrielle: It’s hard though, cause you’re drawn to one, you think it must be an obvious choice, so you just go down that path.

Gabrielle: You’re like, the path of least resistance, let me take this one. And I think that’s a great word to everyone, that slow down, and don’t knock out anything until you have explored it in varying degrees too. Because that percentage can really change. A lot. So at this point you’re feeling like dramatic is not part of your blend or that you got the percentage wrong.

Makhosi: I think that I got the percentage wrong. Even now, I still play with I think that I have it somehow, someway, [00:28:00] maybe in a smaller percentage, but most of the recommendations I really struggle to wear. 

Gabrielle: That’s a good sign that it’s not dominant then. You’re like 90 percent of the recommendations don’t work.

Gabrielle: Maybe it’s not like A high up there, so You wear 

Makhosi: something like an earring, right? If you put on an earring, and the earring doesn’t work?

Gabrielle: You’re like, I can have a dramatic shoe. Down there, it’s fine. 

Makhosi: Yeah, actually that does work for me, so sometimes I’ll But the dramatic shoes that I wear, 

Makhosi: Don’t only fit.

Makhosi: in the dramatic. 

Gabrielle: That’s an interesting point, too, because I think a lot of people, we tend to categorize it based on stereotypes, even the pieces, so we can think, okay, this is really working, but then when we evaluate it, we’re like, oh, this is, a dramatic shoe, but really it could also be a classic shoe , there’s so many slight variations that could work for each essence that it can be difficult to just go based off of one individual [00:29:00] piece.

Makhosi: That’s a good 

Makhosi: point. 

Gabrielle: Dramatic, small part of your blend, where did it go next? What started to resonate? 

Makhosi: I thought for sure that I have romantic. That one has been the very consistent I know that I have romantic essence somehow, somewhere. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: But I didn’t think that it was my main.

Makhosi: I know that it’s not my main. Mainly because I struggle to wear a flower print. I struggle to wear any print, honestly. Interesting. The only prints that I’m really able to pull off are, like, watercolor prints some ombres. They have to be extremely soft. Also, I don’t look great with certain romantic makeup.

Makhosi: Super sultry eyes and lips at the same time. I can’t. Or one or the other. Yeah. So my makeup has to be really quite soft. Even today, I’m like on the edge it looks great. [00:30:00] Thanks. But this is probably about as far as I could go. 

Makhosi: , I might be able to turn it up with a little bit deeper lipstick.

Makhosi: So yeah, romantic. I felt like I knew I had that in my blend. I explored, where did I go next?

Gabrielle: What were you building outfit wise here? So you were landing on a few things. How were the outfits feeling? Like, how was the shopping experience? Cause I, we know in the dark autumn phase, Soft Naturals, we were getting a lot of returns.

Gabrielle: Probably not feeling great about it every day, being like why isn’t this working? Where are we now with wardrobe and outfits? 

Makhosi: Yeah. I was still having that experience. , mainly because I mostly do my shopping online because over the years, I’ve become very particular about how things feel on my body and fabrics.

Makhosi: I don’t like wearing a bunch of polyester. I just really hate it. So most of the things that I buy. Are online and so I was having to return a [00:31:00] lot of different things. Romantic was working. This was at the time. I was doing a lot of romantic and dramatic looks Almost everything was romantic and dramatic in dark winter colors.

Gabrielle: Gold, heavy, like more, a lot more presence than where we’re currently at today, right? Yeah, 

Makhosi: yeah, quite intense. I was like, I was looking like Elvira. I was like, yeah, let me just go very sexy, but that didn’t feel right. This will sound really possibly strange to Based off of where I am now, but I actually struggled a lot in school I didn’t go to my senior prom because I couldn’t get a date.

Makhosi: I was never looked at as like oozing sensuality or even Super motherly kind of energy like I feel like oprah who’s a romantic essence. I feel like she has that motherly [00:32:00] Nests to her that I also think romantic kind of can show up as 

Gabrielle: yeah, 

Makhosi: and I never really had that But I did feel like it was in there 

Gabrielle: But you felt a little disconnected from maybe some of the avenues that it would go towards 

Makhosi: Yeah, there were certain traits that worked really well.

Makhosi: Like I discovered that a deep v neck Not a sharp one, but like a lower a little bit of cleavage showing worked well for me You having some softness, some draping, all of that worked really well. Where it started getting tricky for me was dipping my toe into the romantic prints 

Makhosi: I was never able to really pull that off.

Gabrielle: And so dramatic was feeling heavy, romantic was feeling a little disconnected, and maybe too far with the larger florals. How were the textures working for you? So you said you like the lighter fabrics. How, [00:33:00] what were you feeling about textures at this point? 

Makhosi: Textures I was landing on like silk was working well, chiffon was working well, Velvets were working well if they weren’t too heavy.

Makhosi: I could easily be weighed down by heavy velvets. So those very lush kinds of fabrics were working well, 

Makhosi: and 

Makhosi: then the dramatic like the leathers I was also testing natural at this time because remember I thought I was soft natural. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: I was wearing like lots of linens, lots of cottons. And , I felt like I looked either suffocated and restricted.

Makhosi: I actually was getting that a lot. Even in public forums, that hey, this kind of looks a little like you’re restricted. But then when I would wear cotton and linen, if it was not a blend, it was just like [00:34:00] 100 percent linen, 100 percent cotton. It also was looking very disconnected. So I was like, okay, heavy fabrics do not work for me.

Makhosi: Even with denim the only way that I can wear denim is for it to have quite a bit of stretch and to be a lighter denim. I cannot pull off 100 percent denim, which I know is like the most sustainable version and your jeans are going to last the longest, but it doesn’t work around my body.

Gabrielle: Yeah. Okay. So at this point, you have a business, you have a public persona and you’re going through these evolutions. Is that influencing you in any way? Or you got that figured out, and now can focus on more of a personal exploration. 

Makhosi: All of these things were definitely happening and influencing one another.

Makhosi: Because I’m a personal brand, [00:35:00] I wanted my brand, my branding, to also match me. I had an iteration of my brand that was very exotic rich in colors, emeralds gold, these kind of very luxurious, but also super rich, deep tones. 

Gabrielle: The dark seasons are coming back to haunt you.

Makhosi: Yeah, it looked great, and it worked well together. But it felt like something was off. 

Gabrielle: At this point, if you could go back in time, what would you say is how you wanted to be perceived at that time? 

Makhosi: At that time, I wanted to be seen as a very

Makhosi: intense, edgy, leader, very fiery. And even now, I can say things , that maybe sting a little bit, 

Makhosi: I get called aloof a [00:36:00] lot people will sometimes perceive me as detached very calm, like when everything is falling apart It’s always been one of my gifts is to just be the very zen individual and I was very much leaning into my warrior esque version. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. But you do seem very, in, in my brief experience with you, you seem very measured, you seem very wise, you have a calming presence how you speak, how you carry yourself, your movements, what tipped you off that something needed to change in this world? Cause you’re going with fiery, you’re going with bold.

Gabrielle: What was the thing to be like, okay, we still need to keep going on this. We haven’t gotten past our messy middle yet. 

Makhosi: It actually was the business experience that kept me going because I was having this disconnect in my business where people were perceiving me in a certain [00:37:00] way. And then when they would come and spend time with me, it’s almost like they didn’t get who they thought they were going to get.

Makhosi: And I would actually say, even though I felt like I was coming off intense, a lot of people were saying like, Oh, you just seem so warm and so friendly and so down to earth and so relatable. And then they would get into my spaces and then that was not. And so I was like, there’s something about the way that I’m portraying myself that isn’t matching with, who I really am here to be.

Makhosi: And I actually think that it was at this time that now I just started going into, More traditional style types. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: I started with color season, but then the kibbe kitchener, 

Makhosi: and then I started exploring, okay what are the just general style types?

Makhosi: People say, [00:38:00] oh, there’s seven. Oh, there’s ten. Oh, there’s six. I still felt like even in that, I was struggling because I didn’t feel like I fit well into some of those. 

Gabrielle: So were you talking about like the fruit body system types and those extensions, or?

Makhosi: No, like classic, classic, not like Kitchener and Kibbe classic, but like actual classic style. Style, 

Gabrielle: like archetypal styles, like fashion styles, generic. Okay. And so you were, at this point, trying to hone down an aesthetic and less about let me find style lines, let me dig into fabrics.

Gabrielle: It was more like, is there an aesthetic that would match me better? 

Makhosi: Yes. Absolutely. 

Gabrielle: And then what happened? So none of those were resonating. Did you circle back to one of the systems? 

Makhosi: I did ultimately come back around. Of course, all of these have been happening simultaneously. But I [00:39:00] ended, I did end up coming back around because The just the aesthetics felt even more like a box that I was trying to fit in.

Makhosi: A few of them , gave me some insight about some people who I resonated with. I was like, Oh, I could probably wear that. And a few times I tried to imitate what some of them were wearing. And that would give me just like a little bit of insight. But I wasn’t feeling like I really found my home.

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: and then A lot of things started shifting out of nowhere this is gonna sound silly, but I essentially started wearing like just playing in costumes So I was the little mermaid for halloween 

Gabrielle: Love it 

Makhosi: And because that was the year like the little mermaid came out. I have long locks You It made sense. Oh, it was perfect. Like the costume [00:40:00] fit me very well.

Makhosi: It, my vibe very well, mermaid y. And then because of the time, this was around Halloween two years ago, was trying on different, like homemade costumes. And I was like, Oh, something is happening here. Like when I look like. A fancy pirate, a mermaid or a goddess.

Gabrielle: We’re going in the right direction. 

Makhosi: Something here really works. I can wear a full head to toe goddess looking outfit, and this looks good. Or I can dress to the nines as a mermaid, and this looks good. Of course, at that time, I was like, how does that even translate 

Makhosi: into 

Makhosi: actual clothes.

Makhosi: But I I also realized that very old looks good on me. So anything that’s Victorian inspired looks great. Regency era all of those like really old things, [00:41:00] brooches all looked really good. And, What was fascinating about that, of course, at this time, I was asking my professional stylist, my son.

Gabrielle: Gonna get on the payroll, right? 

Makhosi: Yeah, and then this is when he started noticing and he started saying Yeah, like this looks good. And what’s funny is my whole life I have been called An old lady either like my nickname has been grandmother or grandma since college even before that even as a little girl people called me like a little old soul a little old soul little old lady and so when I started wearing Some of like my great grandmother’s antique things 

Makhosi: It 

Makhosi: started working.

Makhosi: And that started giving me more hints You 

Gabrielle: How did you feel at that point? Was like, was there like a joy? Were you like a little confused? What was the emotional [00:42:00] process for that? Because it can be weird You’re like trying on this beautiful costume and you’re like what like I unexpected 

Makhosi: Yeah.

Makhosi: I had a long period of denial. I can’t even say that I’m like out of that period of denial, honestly. , I do still have moments where I try to slip into, , oh, there’s a cool jean trend happening, right? Then, no, it doesn’t work. And I end up going back Right now I have two core templates, I ask myself.

Makhosi: It was a lot of confusion. I would just call it a lot of confusion and okay, what does it mean? And at this time I didn’t trust myself as much. So of course I’m like trying to crowdsource more information, which just created more confusion. So I did have a period of time where I just unplugged from it all. And just wore my clothes. I was like, let me just go back to basics. Wear my clothes. And my clothes still [00:43:00] weren’t really working for me, on any consistent basis I decided to go into the original interpretations over what others We’re saying 

Makhosi: so I got off of the Reddit threads 

Makhosi: and 

Makhosi: I went and I was like, okay, who does Kitchener identify as these different essences? And he’ll say this is maybe not a pure, but very high. And I started comparing, like I had pictures of my face and I would compare my face. With their face. And this is where things really started to click for me.

Makhosi: Because I put my face up against the dramatic faces. And I was like, there’s so much disconnect here. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: So much disconnect. Like I couldn’t see it at all. And then I went down, gamine, natural. Classic, it was like a little, maybe I was like that’s interesting. [00:44:00] Although I never thought I could be classic.

Makhosi: And then romantic, there were definitely some matches. Ingenue, that’s been the one that I’ve felt like there’s no chance. Absolutely no chance. 

I don’t know. 

Makhosi: You never know.

Gabrielle: Younever know. That’s all I’m going to say. 

Makhosi: Your, after I saw your interview with 

Gabrielle: Andrea Pflaumer. {

Makhosi: Yeah. I was like, okay, maybe I need to explore ingenue just because I completely, yeah, was like, no, that’s not possible.

Makhosi: And then with some of the ethereal and I realized that I had a lot of misconception around what I thought ethereal was, because I think a lot of people were perceiving ethereal to have eyes far apart. That was like, one of the core things that I remembered, and I think that mainly comes from 

Gabrielle: I’ll admit, I mistakenly said that too, and I wish I could go back and amend it, but yeah, that’s more of an ingenue trait, and I You know, apologize to everyone.

Gabrielle: Angelic does not need to have wide, [00:45:00] apart eyes. Continue. 

Makhosi: Yeah, I made it, listen, it’s like a learning, everybody’s learning. And I think what happens, though, is, again, those blends. When you think of someone like Anya Taylor Joy, which a lot of people think of as like a, quintessential ethereal essence, but she also has ingenue, 

Makhosi: right?

Makhosi: So her ingenue could be expressed as her eyes being slightly apart. But when I looked at some of Kitchener’s verified ethereals, like Bryce Dallas Howard. That one was like, oh my gosh, this is not at all what I thought. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: Ethereal was. Right? Most of what I thought ethereal was either ingenue or dramatic because also Tilda Swinton, right?

Makhosi: So once I got to some of the other 

Gabrielle: Verified people. 

Makhosi: Verified people, and then started comparing my face with theirs, I thought, okay, now I’m starting to see some similarity. [00:46:00] And I realized I, my face doesn’t really fit well on the yang end of the spectrum. 

Gabrielle: Were you comfortable at this point starting to claim an ethereal or angelic essence?

Gabrielle: Or was it still just kind of something that you would maybe explore but not share? Because I know it can be a little an interesting experience to put that out into the world. 

Makhosi: I think at that time I was just sharing it as I’m exploring this possibility. And I don’t know, I treat it as we are all just trying to figure this out.

Makhosi: And even still right now I’m playing with, do I have classic in my blend or is that dramatic? So I’m still playing with that third one. 

Makhosi: I 

Makhosi: do have a widow’s peak. I’m like, that could be, that could be where my dramatics popping up from but so even now I’m still not yes, this is what I am.

Makhosi: However, what I will say is that in playing [00:47:00] with ethereal romantic classic, that is where I am most consistently able to put together outfits that. Seem to be harmonious. I know that I can pull off a full ethereal look. Romantic. I cannot pull off a full romantic look.

Makhosi: And I know for sure I also can’t pull off a full classic, but I am able to pull, to not just pull it off. But with classic, it’s tricky because I’m like, but does everyone look okay? 

Gabrielle: I think there’s also other clues, like how you said that it’s, that you need less, you’re like, with textures, with, I, I can’t go too far. Yes, everyone can look okay in classic pieces, but a lot of people can turn that volume knob up, and it seems like you can’t, with those prints, with the textures, like anything too heavy, anything too bold, and, that’s where it tilts those scales.

Gabrielle: , where is your soft summer color palette coming in, into play? 

Makhosi: [00:48:00] Yeah, actually all of these came after the soft summer draping, right? , I felt like that unlocked so much for me. Yeah. Because when I found out I was soft summer and then I’m trying to, follow those color recommendations, right?

Makhosi: It becomes very obvious really fast that, hey, you need to wear low contrast clothing. , I am for sure soft primarily. Yeah. I need that softness more than can very easily go too cool. Also started giving me hints as well because I do, I’m sorry, I do think that color, after all this journey, I do feel like color has a very big impact.

Makhosi: I’m not gonna say that if you are one color season that you can’t be certain essences, but I do feel like it does have, at least for me, a huge impact on the [00:49:00] physical expression of a person. Yeah. 

Gabrielle: I think that certain blends, it won’t be causal, but I think there’s strong correlations for sure.

Gabrielle: And I think that it’s interesting that once you found out that Soft Summer was a possibility, it gave you the permission to be like, okay this muted quality, this floatiness, this serene wisdom all of these things might lead me to now explore an essence that reflects these. So where is the signature look coming from at this point? Colors good? 

Makhosi: Colors A Now I feel like my best looks are if I look like a goddess. Honestly, if I could just wear goddess dresses all the time, if I could just wear long, flowy, not ethnic dresses, that is when I look absolutely amazing. I will say my secondary looks are like more mermaid y type of [00:50:00] things.

Makhosi: And so that’s like where I mostly play now. But , I live in Florida. It’s hot. Mermaid core aesthetic works really well in Florida. So that does help. Yeah. But I am leaning more into okay, what would a goddess wear to

Makhosi: run errands, right? Or homeschool her son. What does that look like? Because yes, I love goddess dresses. And that is where I tend to look my best. But translating that into other areas, is where I am right now. But I am hitting the mark. 

Gabrielle: Oh yeah. 

Makhosi: Most days I’m hitting the mark.

Gabrielle: So what would you say, you have this like super strong core identity now, and like you know your colors, your pillars are like very flushed out, and you look amazing in your style. It’s clearly authentic I think you’re on so many of the right paths. What would you [00:51:00] say is the hurdle now?

Gabrielle: Do you feel like it’s been hard to release certain pieces that feel very standardized into our wardrobe, like denim or sweatshirts, or has that been okay to do? 

Makhosi: I feel like that has been more okay to do. I think that there’s two main hurdles. One is, Old styles tend to look the best on me. So finding ways to make those look fresh and new, like for example, I actually look really good in tunic style tops, right?

Makhosi: So finding ways to make tunic style tops look good, or even just finding tunic style tops, because they haven’t been in for a while I don’t know, probably 10 years now at this point. That’s one hurdle. The other hurdle for me is knowing what to put into Google to get the [00:52:00] result that I want. The fashion language when I am like, okay, these are the things that look good, knowing what to search for in my colors, and making sure that, because I just don’t have time to be Returning clothes all the time.

 I find that it’s easier for me to find things that are Winter or cold weather friendly and also like the layering component I think helps So finding options that work for florida in natural fabrics Or at least breathable fabrics. Like I’m, I started to loosen up a little bit on some of the fabric choices. But I’m just not wearing 100 percent polyester.

Makhosi: It’s literally like wearing a trash bag in Florida heat. Finding it in those fabrics that work well, in the right colors. Right now it feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack, [00:53:00] 

Gabrielle: most of the time. It’s not I think it’s, so parameters are great, but then you do have this re education, or reacquainting yourself with a shopping experience, because you’re going into stores, and it’s no longer, okay, this is a section I used to shop in these are the leathers, and this is where I feel at home.

Gabrielle: Now, it’s, there’s totally different parameters. I will say that I think that’s wonderful that you’re like holding out for , these perfect A plus pieces. One tip for googling the correct thing is I find that giving it keywords that you might resonate with, so you could come up with a set of keywords.

Gabrielle: Like draped, cowl, lightweight, dusty, soft even delicate could possibly work in there. I know you don’t define as delicate, but you have to think about it in the lens of what would a marketer market something that is a softer material. Going to the images, looking at it, and then not click an image that seems 50 percent of the way there.

Gabrielle: Then look at the related images. And [00:54:00] scroll and see if your anything within there is resonating if it does click that and see what they title it as so if you searched, like dusty red cowl neck and you end up on something and then they added the phrase, soft silk to it, then you can piece together how the marketers or how Google is seeing these words.

Gabrielle: How did inspirations or muses play into this? Because I know we’re an online culture. How did Pinterest come in? Did those help or hurt your journey?

Makhosi: At first I would say it hurt. my journey only because I just love when people put together a look. And so at first, my Pinterest board was just a lot of people looking amazing and lots of different things, right?

Makhosi: And I, it wasn’t because it was something that I resonated with or that I could wear and feel myself in. It was [00:55:00] because I liked. Something about it. And I think when you are already a creative person, at least in some capacity, and see fashion, beauty as art, I love to see other people’s art.

Makhosi: I love to see their expression. But there would be a disconnect whenever I would take the, whatever they’re trying to wear, and then I would put it on me and it wouldn’t have the same. cool girl effect. Or certain aspects of it might, but others wouldn’t. And it would also maybe dilute a little bit.

Makhosi: The 

Makhosi: other thing I also caught myself doing was resonating with some based off of like how I wanted to see myself versus how I actually am. 

Gabrielle: Ooh, let’s talk about that. 

Makhosi: Yeah. I also think this is where [00:56:00] my dramatic experience kind of lands. Actually, I will go back and say even before that, there was like a whole gamine phase.

Gabrielle: Everyone has a gamine phase. I’m convinced of that. Everyone. 

Makhosi: You have to have that, right? 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Makhosi: Yeah, I had this whole phase, and I think part of it was how I was like, Oh, I want to see myself as assertive as really confident, as bold, as avant garde, right?

Makhosi: Counter culture. I really wanted to see myself in that light versus how I actually am. And I asked my husband a couple months back, I said, if you were meeting someone new and you were describing your wife to that person what would you say of 

Makhosi: that 

Makhosi: of me? And of [00:57:00] course, after he resisted for a while, like, why are you asking me this?

Makhosi: He, he shared some words and he was like, I would say that you’re wise. I would say that you’re, you can be reserved, that you are very calm, et cetera. But that once you open up. You can be a little bit more friendly. I’m like, no, I feel like I’m already that, but yeah, that, that just helped a lot with having some of those words and some of that frame of like, when I’m just me, how do I show up, not how I think I should be or how I think I have to be in order to be

Makhosi: accepted. Yeah. Whatever. But as a kid, in order to survive the experience that I was in I realized that I have a very number one, I’m an introvert and I was very shy as a kid and dealt with a lot of bullying. And [00:58:00] one way that I coped with that was to create an image. And after I created that image. People didn’t mess with me as much. And so it worked for me and that kind of reaffirmed Oh, this is how you have to be. And so through this process if we translate softness is like my, I’m a soft person and I, yeah, that, that’s been like an interesting, like uncovering of truth.

Gabrielle: Because you’re shedding those layers that served their purpose many years ago, but now you’re ready to show up in the world and you can take off those layers and just exist. Do you feel comfortable now claiming the ethereal essence? Because I think you should.

Makhosi: Yeah, 

Gabrielle: for sure. 

Makhosi: There’s no mistaking that when I wear an ethereal outfit, even from head to toe, it’s not even a [00:59:00] small amount. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: you shine. Yeah. Yeah, with no makeup. It’s all, it’s literally, I think I’ve shared pictures before of me wearing ethereal . clothing and getting compliments on my makeup.

Makhosi: And I’m like, I’m literally not wearing even a stitch of lip gloss. 

Gabrielle: It’s that same thing too, with like your, when you wear the right colors, like people are like, wow, you look so fresh and healthy. Your lips look a normal color. And, you had that aha moment where you’re like, Oh, like I don’t need all these extra things to support this look.

Gabrielle: I can just exist in it. So I’m going to circle back to something you said. So you said that sometimes it’s difficult for you to translate this kind of Oracle goddess like vibe into more Florida lifestyle friendly looks. How have you been approaching that currently? 

Makhosi: The truth is that I have been, [01:00:00] for the most part, forgoing the fact that I live in Florida. 

Makhosi: Literally, you cannot see, but right now, I have on denim layers. It is 90 something degrees outside. But I’m like, I know that these shapes work. And then so I tell myself like, okay, you just have to walk from inside to the car.

Gabrielle: Yeah, you’re like AC is my friend right now. 

Makhosi: Nevermind, the fact that it’s 

Gabrielle: literally 

Makhosi: The middle of summer. 

Gabrielle: We’ve all been there. First of all, you’re like, I’m just going to endure because this outfit is so fire. Let’s just break this down, because I think you have such good instincts, and you have such good style data, so style lines, you like soft fabrics, longer fabrics, things that gently hug your curves can’t be too heavy weight, lighter weight fabrics, shapes, [01:01:00] figure eight, soft skimming, is that in the realm?

Makhosi: Yeah, and I tend to notice that I look best if I have. , some detail at the waist or some draping around the waist , so by the way, I don’t think I said it, but I did land on soft dramatic. And what I found is some of the, like curve accommodating where it just goes around your curve doesn’t actually look the best on me unless there is like some draping component Somewhere near the waist.

Gabrielle: So details you like that drape, you like that softness. So softness seems to be like an overarching theme for you, in more than just color. It comes into textures, does it come into shapes? You don’t want structured anything. 

Makhosi: Yeah, I don’t look great in any structure. I won’t say that.

Makhosi: Yeah. I do think that I can work well with [01:02:00] structure if it’s on the bottom half. Okay. So if I wear a pencil skirt with a flowy top 

Makhosi: , 

Makhosi: that works really well. Actually. It looks fantastic. So bottom half, it’s fine. Anytime I try to wear, too much constriction. 

Makhosi: . I can 

Makhosi: wear it, it fits my body, but it doesn’t look like it fits me.

Gabrielle: Yeah. I think you have really amazing fashion instincts and that you’ve honed all these avenues. If we take the four pillars, lines, shapes, texture, details, and color, you really have all of those figured out. And if you’re struggling with what the extension is of like how do I work with this in Florida heat, or what am I even looking for, I would suggest possibly creating a list of all those things where you like to categorize them, pulling your favorite outfits and putting them in those like quadrants, and then you said you’d like to draw, or that when you were younger you sketched a little bit.

Gabrielle: I would just [01:03:00] look at those outfits that you love that you identify with as like your best pieces. And sketch out what a casual top might look at look like. Don’t even go online and try to find it out there. See what your own brain can come up with. And then see, because you have the instincts;you’re laser focused right now it may not always feel deep in your bones, you’re like, yes, I got this, but you do.

Gabrielle: Trust yourself to create you’re a creative person find those ways to express yourself, and then try to find it out in the world. Which, I know, I’m not saying that can be, is easy, but, maybe if you get some sketches out, or you explore those, that you’ll feel more comfortable.

Gabrielle: This is me. These are the elements I like. I liked that top. It had this bellowy sleeve. That worked. Could that be a casual top that was more workable for work from home or momming or whatever you have to do that is a barrier from this extension? Would you want to do that or does that sound like you’re like, no?

Makhosi: No, I think I could do that. Yeah, I think also I can see [01:04:00] how doing that I could easily translate some of the language to describe some of those looks into, what I could search for, what I could be keeping an eye out for. Yeah. Out in the world or online. 

Gabrielle: Because sometimes it’s a detail that will just unlock something.

Gabrielle: It’s like, all of a sudden you’re like, like the cowls. You talked about cowls and drapes, like that’s a keyword for you. It’s that softness. These things should all connect. And even if you don’t sketch them out, even if you just did look online, keeping together those like keywords that all create the web of what you’ve created with this style.

Gabrielle: Like you have this oracle, you have this wisdom, you have this like serene. extension, because developing a signature style if you want to, is really about consistency and finding the natural extensions of this core identity that you have. And you’ve nailed it in the formal or semi formal [01:05:00] world.

Gabrielle: But now you need to get it to work a little bit more, at least, for Florida, right? We want you to be able to go to the beach on occasion, right? 

Makhosi: Yes. Yes, please. And you’re 

Gabrielle: such a mermaid, so you deserve to be on the beach, and and it’s also about finding the give and take, like maybe you’re working in diagonal hemlines, that allow you to breathe a little bit better, but still draw the eye down, still have that even a lettuce edge, which is like a little bit of a it could be ethereal, it could also be too delicate for you, you’d have to explore, but finding those little terminologies of things that you might draw, and then searching out the answer for them, And being like, what is this called in style?

Gabrielle: And then you can go down the rabbit hole of actually finding it out in the real world. I think that you just have such an innate sense of your personal style that you don’t really need the inspiration. You just need to tap into, what would be my dream style for this? How would a mermaid or how would a goddess do her errands?

Gabrielle: What would she wear? You know what you could also do? You [01:06:00] might use, I don’t know how you feel about it, but AI images. Just play around with it. Give Midjourney a prompt beautiful woman, mermaid, going to the grocery store and see what, get the chaos level up and just see what it pumps out there.

Gabrielle: And you might just be like that’s interesting. It’s just uncovering these things and then going down individual rabbit holes. 

Makhosi: Yeah. Yeah, I think I like that approach better because what I’m realizing Is that I do think that there are and this is not like a judgment on anyone.

Makhosi: I do think that there are like common aesthetics That most people can just plug themselves into and it really Work for them, right? I do think that with my blend finding those aesthetics to plug into Doesn’t work as well. So just copying someone else’s Yeah style yeah, I’ve literally never seen someone else’s outfit and put [01:07:00] it on and been like, yeah, this is the thing.

Makhosi: But there are certain people who , I’m like, okay, what am I liking about this? That does work for me. So I think doing it with mid journey or drawing it out, or even just looking up Pinterest images of pieces of clothing. Yeah. Versus. People wearing clothing. 

Gabrielle: Oh, yeah, I was suggesting only to do your own style data because like you already have the formula down Like you have such amazing outfits.

Gabrielle: If you haven’t seen her outfits, you should check out my facebook group She has a few posts in there. They’re fantastic absolutely mesmerizing totally goddess mermaid like And yeah, I think you have the data. It’s just zooming into those details and finding their natural extension to You How does a silk fabric show up in a casual outfit?

Gabrielle: Is it a natural silk jersey, that’s breathable? Is it draped? Honing into those details and finding [01:08:00] what would be, my dream style. And then, going to shop for them is a rabbit hole in and of itself. But if you have that framework, then you’re throwing less spaghetti at the wall.

Gabrielle: You’re more sure I want an athleisure piece that looks like this because this suits my curves and this is Blended and it has a beautiful diagonal on it or a beautiful ruching at the waist, you know You’re able to piece those pieces together in a more streamlined fashion what would you say is your advice to people who are on this journey 

Makhosi: Yeah, okay. I think the big one is to First, let go of any preconceived notions about either who you are or what you think the essences are, because sometimes we have certain judgment on ourselves and also on what we think about others, right? I want it to be dramatic because I, I just admire that so much, right?

Makhosi: And that’s again, I’m not [01:09:00] saying that I couldn’t possibly have any dramatic because that’s also still in play. But what I am saying is that I found that every time that I got really attached to how I thought that I had to be or who I thought I was and what I thought certain essences 

Makhosi: were 

Makhosi: or what they meant.

Makhosi: And it’s not that I was wrong necessarily sometimes about the actual meaning or expression of an essence, what was clouding it was my judgment of it. 

Makhosi: Right? 

Makhosi: I thought I couldn’t possibly be classic because to me that was boring. And I didn’t want to be boring. And so I never even explored the possibility really of classic because of that judgment.

Makhosi: So that, that would be the biggest one, 

Gabrielle: how does your wardrobe look now that you’ve made all of these Changes. 

Makhosi: I did sell a lot on [01:10:00] Poshmark, so I do have mostly things that I can wear. There are still a few things that I haven’t been able to let go of because I know I’m not gonna get anything from Poshmark.

Makhosi: And I haven’t been able to just let go of that. I have a purple leather blazer that I just can’t let go of. And I’m in Florida. When am I going to be wearing this purple leather blazer? I’m not there yet. But now it is much more cohesive and I will say though the area that I do want to improve the most aside from like these individual pieces is honing more on the color palette side of things and also keeping in mind my contrast levels.

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: point. So like I have mostly colors that work well for me, but I do think that I’m like more on the medium to medium dark side of soft summer. And so having a bunch of things that are [01:11:00] like I have a lot of soft white tops, but then most of my bottoms are medium to medium dark colors.

Makhosi: So if I pair those together, those don’t really work well. Together because I need that I need low contrast. So that’s just like the next iteration. But I’m looking at now curating more of a cohesive color palette that I know now that mostly I just look good in neutrals. I do have a couple other colors that I play with, but. Me and neutrals! 

Gabrielle: I think you should explore more classic in your blend, because from what, a lot of what you’re saying, and your instincts are really good, you do have these elements where you like the neutrals, you like a little, it’s not all classic, but there’s some dials that you don’t want to turn all the way up, because something, there’s a disconnect when you do.

Gabrielle: And I think that a lot of these points could also translate really well into your casual look. Like [01:12:00] a neutral soft jersey draped top with soft fabric pants that allow you to move or that allow airflow, tweaking these concepts that you’ve honed down and making sure that the connections are there because you have solid data like you are so laser focused into all these elements.

 You’re on point. Totally. It’s amazing to hear you. 

Makhosi: Thank you. I, yeah, I do think some of these things like knowing that neutrals look best, and I’m easily overwhelmed by jewelry. Like my jewelry, even when I got married at the time, really big rings were like the thing.

Makhosi: That was all that you could really find. And I made my husband. With love. You have a ring custom made for me that is, I don’t know if you can see it, but it is literally like the most classic Can you see it? Yeah, there you go. The most [01:13:00] delicate Classic ring because I can’t I cannot wear Chunky anything really and I have to follow this rule because I’ll put on a bunch of jewelry and I’m like, okay Let me take something off Because I’m getting overpowered by the jewelry.

Makhosi: So I do think that there’s some of those elements that are classic leaning. And I do think that leaning more into classic could help me a lot with casual looks. Because 

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: actually That, that’s a little easier to find. 

Gabrielle: I also think maybe you could start a keyword list of like priorities and start coming up with keywords or descriptors or adjectives that are resonating.

Gabrielle: So Oracle, Goddess, Mermaid are at the top. Maybe Soft is up there. And then you can like get an idea of your priorities and then like below that maybe it’s more simple, refined, not overly bold. And see. What do my favorite outfits, if I had to describe them with [01:14:00] words, how would they relate?

Gabrielle: And looking at outfits that didn’t work, and comparing it to this list, may be eye opening, because you’re gonna start to see connections where you broke your pattern. Here are your words, here’s the outfit, oh wait, I have this like stark color break. Even if it’s still within the soft summer palette, you don’t have that blended quality, all of a sudden you’re going more bold with that.

Gabrielle: I think that could be really valuable, because you have such good descriptors that it might, if your brain works that way. 

Makhosi: Yeah, actually working with words helps a lot, because I automatically start associating it with other things or other visuals in my mind, which gives me an idea of this is what I’m looking at.

Makhosi: I really like your advice around also paying attention to details. around a thing and incorporating some of those details into my keywords, right? Because I think, I don’t know, maybe at this stage, because I’ve been in this for a while, and I’ve been [01:15:00] hardcore pitching it for a while, that I’m at a place now where it really does boil a lot down to certain details, certain fabrics being very conscious about where details land, 

Makhosi: even, 

Makhosi: right?

Makhosi: Ruching in one area looks very different than ruching in another area. And like where a top lands on my shoulders starts to matter, right? So I think those little things can help. 

Gabrielle: You might want to also, this just thought of something I have a video that talks a little bit about outfit rhythm which is basically where is your eye going and, like how is it bouncing around is it quick successions where a gamine outfit might be, like bam, because it’s going from here, it has all these little details where it’s taking the earring, the lipstick, this, or do you long If you know anything about music, like long whole notes, there’s a long, steady sound that you’re traveling down.

Gabrielle: And finding those [01:16:00] balance points, and where in your outfit you like people, you like the I to land. Because you said, you don’t like the big jewelry. So you don’t want anything like darting the I too much, like very languid, fluid lines. That could also help you, but I think details in your casual looks will make or break them for you because you have such a clear vision That adding that ethereal touch or that ethereal fabric That’s really gonna tip it from being like successful and you love it to being like this feels disconnected, 

Makhosi: I love that.

Makhosi: Yeah when I think about the rhythm of what works even just if I were to Communicate what I’m wearing at like a volume, 

Gabrielle: even, 

Makhosi: right? I for sure can think of some specific outfits where I’m like, yes, this, like the volume of it was loud. Where what tends to work best on me is like much more subdued, [01:17:00] much more understated. 

Gabrielle: I think it would be cool for you to explore the keywords, because you have such beautiful language skills, and you speak with so much refined poise, and you’re so elegant in your presence, that I think all of these things together would really just Firm it up in your brain that like you can take ownership of all of these style elements And these are innate to you because they encompass more just like what your body lines are They encompass like who you are and how you present to the world Anything else you want to end on or share or it’s been a joy to have you 

Makhosi: Let me think.

Makhosi: The only other thing that I can think of To share is to just really embrace the process Like just letting this be a process. I know when I first went down this rabbit hole of reclaiming my style I [01:18:00] Wanted it to be One and done so fast 

Gabrielle: Yeah, 

Makhosi: and I think Taking that approach from the beginning number one, it cost me a lot of money.

Makhosi: It costs a lot of money. And also I was so quick to overlook certain things. And if I could go back in time to that version of me, I would say, slow down. Take it one step at a time, play with one thing at a time be careful not to firehose yourself with information and I wish that I had taken time to really understand specifically the essences, like the different, I do feel, I personally feel like essences is huge.

Makhosi: But even deeper than that, understanding what are the principles that these [01:19:00] systems are building on 

Makhosi: and 

 When you’re saying yin and yang, what does that mean? How does sharp lines show up in the skeleton, right? That is helpful. How do, small rounded shapes show up on the face?

Makhosi: Those differences, I felt like I probably did not understand those. And I probably still don’t understand to the fullest, right? This is not my day job. But, yeah having fun with it, but also letting it be. 

Gabrielle: I think your journey is so inspiring because I remember seeing some of your looks that were more dramatic and now from here It’s just like a total 180 that like you look so alive and Just like yourself and that’s an amazing like superpower And I think that you sharing your style journey has been so inspirational and I know that a lot of people Will resonate with it because you’re connecting on a deeper level and you’re having the strength to show yourself [01:20:00] And you’re also showing that our stereotypes or our perceptions should be challenged, especially when something isn’t feeling right.

Gabrielle: And yeah, it’s a journey for sure. I am so glad you came on and talked about this. Thank you for coming on and until next time. 

Makhosi: Thanks.