This episode delves into overcoming style slumps, trusting fashion instincts, and improving personal style by analyzing different elements, setting goals, avoiding comparison, filtering style content, seeking feedback from reliable sources, and taking actionable steps towards enhancing one’s unique style POV.
If you’ve ever hit a plateau with your style, felt lackluster about an outfit, or just felt like you’re not getting any fashion wins, here’s how you can fix that!
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Full Transcript:
Ugh, I hate my wardrobe. Meh, what is wrong with this outfit? Why does everything look bad on me…
It’s like our style relationships have hit a rocky patch, and here’s what we need to fall back in love.
Hi, I’m Gabrielle Arruda your host for the Style POV podcast and I’m here to help you learn to trust your fashion instincts, hone your authentic style POV, and find strength through style.
Understanding the Highs and Lows of Your Style Journey
Your style is a journey. No matter if this is day 1, or day 1034… there will be fashion wins, progress, and moments that feel like you’re in a slump.
It’s like you were just killing it, loving all your outfits, feeling that person staring back at you in the mirror… and then… It’s just not quite right, it’s a little off, or just blah…
This is normal. If our style journeys are something that occurs constantly throughout our lifetime, then it would be unreasonable for us to say “It always needs to be trending forward and to the right”. Better outfits, better style, happier selves.
But, linear growth isn’t feasible when we think about how many decades of style you’re going to progress through.
You have to first accept that there will be seasons where your style is not where you want it to be, and instead of looking at it like a “ugh, I hate this” try to view it as a marker of your progress and the potential for new style input to move you towards your next style level.
Style slumps are just style problems that we haven’t found an answer to yet. Which is exciting, because there is an answer. And that answer will most likely move your style needle forward and teach you more about yourself.
Navigating Style Slumps: Identifying the Problem
So when you’re hitting a style slump, how can you transform it from a “woah is me, this stinks” to “ok, I’m going to roll my sleeves up and figure this out!”.
The first thing you need to do is admit there’s a problem. If you’ve been taking your daily outfit photos, start reviewing them and just see, ok where did this shift happen? When did I go from liking my outfits to feeling meh about them?
This can be important for a few reasons, it can either show you if you’re just “bored” with your style, or it can pinpoint if there’s a new style system, input, or advice that you’re trying to force into your style toolbox with less success than you would have anticipated.
And the third option could be you’re boxing yourself in. You watched a video, determined you have romantic essence, and feel like everything you wear needs to incorporate this very narrowly defined version of romantic.
Pinpointing when the shift occurred is important because it can give you clues on how to solve it.
Now, if you don’t have daily outfit photos to refer back to… then your first step is going to be to start taking them. If you don’t have any data to examine, you’re basically just going on general emotion.
“I’m just not feeling my outfits now…”
Valid emotion. But there is little guidance on how to change this feeling given that we have no reference points.
Sometimes we encounter a style slump also when we get new style input, even when it’s positive. I just completed my color analysis training and we determined me to be a Bright Spring. I am doing a slow and intentional wardrobe pivot… because of this, I may not feel as satisfied with some of my outfits because now I know, what they could look like in my bright spring colors.
If this is the root of your style slump, patience is your friend. And knowing that the wins are on the other side of intentional style work and vetting pieces properly.
And using your 4 style pillars to shop is a great tool to help keep you on track, I have a video in the show notes on how to do this.
But, you have to determine- is there something I’m not loving about my current style, or am I just anxious to get to the next level? While both problems involve strategically thinking about your style, if you’re not loving your style you also need to diagnose the problem.
Strategies for Overcoming Style Challenges
Next, we want to come up with a strategy and a goal to track, so that we can keep our forward momentum.
Sitting in the “my outfits stink” zone, and just hoping they will get better is a lot like being in debt and just hoping to win the lottery.
Good luck….
Here we like action steps, we like plans, and we like to approach our styles with both form and function in mind.
So the strategy I’ve found super helpful is to use the 4 style pillars and your style toolbox and start going through your “best” outfits in the past, and your current ones. Is there a disconnect somewhere? Did you start mindlessly following a trend that doesn’t quite align well with your style parameters? Did you buy too many impulse purchases that don’t meet your lifestyle needs?
And I highly recommend you check out the style pillars playlist content for some more guidance on this. It’s my method of breaking down your style into a very simple framework to guide you.
Once you start noticing these things.. for instance maybe you discover that you’ve bought quite a few new pieces that didn’t fill your wardrobe needs or weren’t aligned with your style statement.
Then the strategy would be to do a closet audit, which I have a resource on in the show notes.
If it’s more general complain like “ I just don’t like the way I look”. You need to dig deeper… What don’t you like? Vet this against your style toolbox and systematically go through it..
You may find it to be “My clothes aren’t fitting properly or they look a bit off for my body shape”. Or maybe it’s “ my looks just lack a polished feel”.
Whatever the problem is, there is a strategy to help you…
If its clothes are a mismatch for body type, maybe you dig into the four pillars concept or explore kibbe a bit more. Accept that there will be some more exploration and data collection needed.
If it’s just feeling unpolished… Examine what “polish” means to you. Even create a Pinterest board around it so that you have a visual reference of what that word means to you.
So, narrowing down the problem and coming up with some strategies is done. Now, what?
Style slump problems can be “bigger” arching themes and can feel like a lot to bite off at one time.
The Power of SMART Goals in Style Evolution
Like, how can you possibly tackle “I just want to like clothes on my body” in a week or two? So SMART goals or Style protocols which we talk about in episode 7 are key.
We want an overarching goal, but we need to also break them into manageable steps. So I’d like you to set a timeline for a micro goal.
If your style slump is being caused by poorly fitted garments or garments that aren’t looking great on your body… then target one element to experiment with.
There are too many variables when we try to consider the fabric, the aesthetic, the hair, the accessories, the colors, and it just keeps going…
Instead, pick one part to focus on… I’m going to explore what I like in my pants… I’m going to evaluate the style pillars of garments I like and try to find pants that match these elements. Then I will try them on, and see how they work IRL. Then refine and repeat.
So if my style pillars are soft, fluid lines, and my shapes are a lot of bells shapes and circles… Then maybe I’ll look for light, soft fabrics that have round shapes in the hips and skim the body down my leg.
We are breaking down an overarching problem, into one element, and then breaking that one element down and comparing it to our style toolbox.
It’s like a science experiment. Removing an abundance of variables so that we can have more accurate results and test our hypothesis.
But remember, if it’s all theory, or you’re just sitting there looking at images and not actually trying it out, you’re not moving forward!
Which gets me to the next step.
We think of our style as a noun. It’s “our” style. It’s MY style. I’m a “flamboyant natural”. I’m a “bright spring”… All the names, make it feel like it’s something we own.
And it is… We want to take ownership of our styles of course… But we forget that “to style” is also a verb.
And that is pivotal to keep yourself moving towards your style goals and improving your style.
One of the single best things you can do for your style is to stay in motion, to continue to actively try on and explore things on your body. Because theory is great… but until you’ve tried that outfit on and lived it a day in your life, it’s just a pretty Pinterest image you pinned.
So when you’re feeling a bit meh about your style… Think about it like buried treasure. You know the treasure is somewhere close by, your style GPS says you are close… but until you start digging and re-orienting yourself, that gold won’t be yours.
Now, style slumps or feeling a bit lackluster about your style, or one element of your style is normal. And you shouldn’t view it like all your progress has been lost, because it’s usually the opposite.. You’ve acquired so much great style knowledge that your expectations are now higher for yourself…
But, there is also another culprit when it comes to style dissatisfaction and it’s usually a 2-fold issue.
Confronting Comparison and Consumption in Style
Comparison and Consumption.
Ok, let’s talk about the comparison trap. Our lives have become filled with comparison metrics. We no longer just hunt, gather, and survive. We track, measure, compare, and statistically place ourselves among the top or bottom of the pack.
It can be exhausting. Social media alone has opened the door to so much comparison, that we don’t even realize it’s become a thief of joy for us.
Where we once would have been thrilled to just like the way this outfit looks, we now think… but, I still don’t look like this person or have what that person has..
We need to remember that everyone is at different junctures with their style journey, and are solving for different outcomes.
A fashion win is a fashion win… So it’s wise to mute or remove accounts or platforms that cause you to feel like your style isn’t good enough.
Similarly, it can be wonderful to find a group of people on a similar path point as you, to cheer each other on.
Replace the comparison noise with support and commiseration, and you feel seen, heard, and understood, which gives you the strength to keep working through your style slumps and achieving those targeted micro goals.
The second issue is consumption. We consume content.. a lot of it… Sometimes the content is like a healthy meal that gives you all your healthy nutrients, and sometimes it’s more like junk food, a bag of chips that are totally satisfying and enjoyable in that moment.
But, if you’re in a style slump…or just not feeling great about your own personal style, it is wise to start examining the content you are consuming and participating in.
If you’re spending all your time watching celebrity Kibbe typings on TikTok, and arguing on Reddit about Taylor Swift being light spring versus light summer…
That isn’t really style work. That’s style entertainment.. And when you’re loving your style, it can be a great fun hobby or source of enjoyment.
But, if you’re already feeling low about your style, you may need a “healthy style meal” instead of the equivalent of a “style candy bar”….
When you’re in a style slump and you’re consuming new style content, which is a natural thing to do because you think “Maybe this piece of content will give me the answer”… start asking yourself a simple question after watching, reading, listening, which is:
“ What did I learn that I can turn into an actionable step for my style journey”
I hope after listening to this podcast you can say “ I learned how to tackle my style problems and move my style journey forward in a positive way by doing X, Y, Z”.
If you learned that Anne Hathaway has kibbe width even though she’s conventionally fairly narrow… Well… fun to learn, but not what you need when you’re in a style slump.
When we are down on our styles, we need to filter things more carefully. We are in a more sensitive place and we can be triggered more easily to feel bad about our own styles..
And it can make improvement feel insurmountable…
This isn’t a forever ban on “fun” content. It’s just a pause so that you can put the energy you have into moving your style forward.
Seeking and Utilizing Feedback Effectively
Ok… last point… What if you need feedback? We want to learn to trust our own fashion instincts, but sometimes we do need advice.
It is so important to consider the source when you get feedback. Well-intentioned strangers and not-so-well-intentioned strangers should be taken with a grain of salt…
Professionals can help if you go in with the right questions and have narrowed your style slump issues down… And like-minded peers are also great.
But I like to ask myself- would I value this person’s opinion of me in real life? Would I be friends with them? Would I respect their values and communication style? Would I enjoy learning from them?
Getting 100 ppl on Reddit to comment on what could be wrong, might give you a nugget of information, but it also comes with a lot of noise.
Better to find a style buddy, or similarly aligned group to get feedback from. And to know to ask the right questions..
For instance: I’m bored with my style.. you’ll get 50 different answers about how to fix it and most will not be including your unique style POV, but the commenters’ preferences instead.
A better feedback approach would be: I’m working on finding pants that suit my body type, I like long, straight lines, rectangle shapes, and bright colors… which of these 2 straight-leg jeans fit these best?”
Following up with two clear examples to gather observations from:
Targeted questions with a baseline of YOUR style parameters will get a lot more actionable comments.
We can’t pretend that we won’t ever face a style hurdle again… But what we want to do is be capable of finding our own style solution.
To feel confident in our style expression and our style POV.
Thank you for tuning in.
Until next time.
